Does alternative health have a place in dealing with elder care?

When our health, the most precious gift we will ever have, is in jeopardy, patients and families should be able to try whatever medical and alternative treatments they wish. And since so many of us have come into contact with health care professionals who have led us in the wrong direction, trust in traditional medicine is not as strong as it once was.

When my mother had a heart attack and was in a coma for months, the doctor told us that she was without oxygen for so long that we should pull the plug because if she ever came to, “she’d just be a vegetable.” My father and I were stunned and furious to be told such a thing and flatly refused. I researched alternative treatments for comas and decided we’d try an around-the-clock vigil talking, lightly massaging and grooming her. I remember the doctor coming in daily to check on her, shaking his head and saying, “Go home, she can’t hear you -- you’re wasting your time.” We hated him for taking away our hope and refused to accept it. Instead, we kept going day after day and when we went home late at night, we left a portable radio on her pillow so there was music and voices in case she could hear.

One morning as we were lighting rubbing and talking to her, she opened her eyes and looked straight at me, clear as day. “Mom, Mom, it’s me Jackie.” But then her eyes slowly closed again and no matter how much we tried, she didn’t respond at all. The doctor came in and when we excitedly told him what had happened, he dashed our hopes again saying that it was just an involuntary movement that happens with coma victims. I was so mad and just couldn’t accept that, because I knew she had been there with me for that brief moment. We had made a connection.

Dad and I worked on her all day and then late that the evening, she opened her eyes again and looked right at us with an inquisitive look. “Hi Mom, you had a heart attack and you’re in the hospital, but you’re going to be okay. Do you understand me? Blink once for yes if you understand.” It was straight out of a Dr. Kildare episode as Dad and I held our breath waiting for her response. Finally she blinked a tightly and very deliberately, yes! It was one of the happiest moments of our lives.

It took many months of therapy and rehabilitation, but a year later my father held my mother’s hand and walked her into that hospital to see the grim doctor who would have had us end her life fifteen years too soon. Dad made it very clear to him that he should never tell families that their loved one will never recover from a coma or that they will only be a vegetable if they do -- as obviously he did not have the medical ability nor a crystal ball to know!

Please tell us your story!

Jacqueline Marcell
Author Elder Rage www.ElderRage.com
Host Coping With Caregiving Radio Show www.wsRadio.com/CopingWithCaregiving