All Widowhood Articles

"Single female seeks tall, older man for friendship, possible romance. Must play bridge and tennis. Poor dancers need not apply."Lili Skinner has met Mr. Two Left Feet. Now she needs Mr. Right. But if you think finding romance is hard at age 20, try doing it (again) at 81. "I really have no trouble meeting people," she said. "To meet eligible people is hard." Women complain that they outnumber Read more...

OLYMPIA, WASH. -- After years together, Florence and Charles are so close that after they die, they'd like their ashes combined. So when Charles had cancer surgery three years ago, Florence wanted to be there to comfort him when he woke up. "OK, Mrs. Cornell, we'll see what we can do," the nurse said. Florence thanked her, got in to see Charles, and never revealed the couple's little secret: Read more...

At 71, Cissy Wechter has found herself with a most unlikely title. Call her a "sexpert" for seniors. The new book written by this woman from Calabasas, Calif., "Sex & the 60s," (AuthorHouse, $14.95 soft cover, 309 pages), outlines her adventures as a suddenly single older woman in the Internet age, and offers advice and counsel to others in the same situation. "Dating at any age is hard," Wechter Read more...

QUESTION: My husband died a month ago from cancer. We had been married for nearly 40 years, and I thought we had the perfect marriage. He told me he wouldn't have been able to go on as long as he did without my support. But when I was going through his things, I discovered love letters from another woman. It seems they had an affair 20 years ago that lasted six years. I am shattered. How could he Read more...

QUESTION: My wife died from a heart attack nine months ago.We'd loved each other since school days and were together for nearly 40 years. I'm 61.To cheer me up, a friend suggested I go on [vacation] with him, and that's where I met a woman my age who's also widowed. We've seen each other several times since we've been home and we get [along] really well.We haven't had sex yet, because she doesn't Read more...

QUESTION: My husband died a year ago, and I've started a new relationship. My friends and family are horrified I'm involved again so soon.Even my sister, who's been a widow for 10 years and knows what it's like to be lonely, is against me.My new man is very caring and happy to take things slowly. We're not talking wedding bells, just enjoying each other's company. How can I make them see how Read more...

Let me emphasize: In this article, I mean no disrespect to people honoring the memory of an ex-lover or spouse. But when people start dating again, they often hold on to former relationships for too long. One woman said that her new husband still spends a lot of time with his ex-wife, that he sees her nearly every weekend, and that he runs over there any time his ex needs something fixed. Read more...

Each widow or widower has a different story, and each goes through healing at a different pace. They should be respected and admired their tenacity and bravery. Some find writing about their ordeal helpful. Dave, a Michigan widower, is putting the finishing touches on a book that chronicles his painful steps after losing his beloved wife. I'll keep you posted on when it is published. Jerry, Read more...

It is wonderful to find love again after the loss of a loved one. There is nothing more devastating as a broken heart; however, it is possible to become whole again and find new and lasting love. My relationship coaches at AskMarsVenus.com get many questions from men and women regarding how to approach sensitive issues that may arise when dating a widow or widower. Top Five Questions to Read more...

The idea that a loved one can "die of a broken heart" has been the staple of countless songs and sonnets. Now scientists have come a step closer to saying it may just be true. A study shows that if a spouse is admitted to hospital with a serious illness, the risk of death rises for the husband or wife. And if the spouse goes on to die, the risk of the partner dying Read more...

Widowers and divorced people often ask how long they should wait to get involved in a new relationship.Edith McGinity, of Santee, Calif., said, "I'm 69. My husband of 13 years passed away a year ago. On New Year's Day, I met a 79-year-old widower in our park. We have been seeing each other on a regular basis. I have to be aware that his wife has only been gone since July and he still has to Read more...

Question: How long should I expect my new love of four months to resolve his grief/love for his dead wife? They were married for 50 years, and she died more than a year ago. He says he loves me and we have talked of marriage, but he also says he cannot bear to take his dead wife's clothes out of the closet or place her urn of ashes at the cemetery. He asks that I just give him more time. Is there Read more...

Dear Steve and Cathy,My wife passed away seven months ago and now I'm dating two women -- both 20 years younger than me. Is it too soon to date or get intimate? I have told both women that I don't want to get married. The Thai lady is good company and says she's in love with me, but I don't love her. I like the Korean lady a lot, but she's mad at me for dating the Thai lady. Should I continue to Read more...

Dear Dr. Betty, I'm a widower and have been dating a woman for three years. How can I get her into bed for some very pleasurable sex? I've tried dinner, shows, light travel, and cruises, but sh's very religious and refuses my advances. --R. Dear R., With your three-year relationship you've given new meaning to the word patience! Dinners, shows, cruises -- that's pretty action-oriented, Read more...

Dear Dr. Betty, I was widowed suddenly nine months ago and am left with two teenage daughters to raise. I've been seeing an old friend and am dismayed to find myself considering a sexual relationship so soon. How do I set a decent example for my girls without denying myself happiness? --M. Dear M., Set a decent example by not denying yourself happiness, by being a fully realized woman; Read more...

Dear Dr. Betty, I'm a widower who had a sexless marriage for the past 18 years. I'm now in a relationship with my former wife's sister whom I met again recently at my wife's funeral. The rub is that if we marry she would be giving up her Social Security money, which we need to live on. However, we don't just want to live together as it is against my moral inclinations. How do we enjoy each Read more...

Dear Dr. Betty,I'm a widow in my 50s who is about to enter the dating arena again. How do I learn the new rules of dating? Is it OK to take the initiative to ask him out first? And just how does someone in their late 50s meet nice, eligible men their age? --D.Dear D.,Hooray for you! As a widow, you've gone through a major life passage and have opted to move on and realize new opportunities for Read more...