Focus and Connect with Tantric Techniques

Many of us live in a state of constant rush, with stress at every turn. Learning to focus our attention can be extremely difficult.

It's precisely the elements of focus and consciousness, however, that are so important to Tantra and Tantric sex. Focus allows you to drop into an even deeper connection with your lover. Connection means that you feel a deep understanding and vital essence in the other person's presence that makes both of you feel bonded.

Try some of these things below, and "being conscious" will begin to occur for you more often:

• When out in nature, stop what you're doing and just observe something close-up. It can be a leaf, a branch, the effect the wind has on an object, cloud formations, water -- anything. Contemplate what you are witnessing. Remember to breathe.
• Pay close attention to how you're touching someone. Be very deliberate in the touch quality you offer. Put your attention on what you are doing. During touch and stroking, notice if your own fingers feel exquisite to you.
• Try meditating for 10 to 15 minutes. Follow your breath. It's OK to notice when you get uncomfortable or antsy. Just take note and come back to the breath.
• Become aware the next time you are in a business meeting or talking with your boss or staff member, instead of running on automatic. As soon as you realize that you are witnessing the situation almost as a third party, breathe into your belly and stay in the present with the other person. See if you can have the rest of the conversation in awareness or in witness of the present moment.

Deep connection with your lover requires vulnerability, truth-telling, focus and a commitment to consciousness. When you bring these qualities to the bedroom and honor your sexuality as sacred, you develop a vehicle to deeper connection. Here are a few other things that will bring you closer:

• Say: "yes" more often.
• Be willing to try new things and then talk about it. You don't necessarily have to continue, just try. Trying a few new positions in lovemaking is a great way to experience something new and not too threatening.
• Ask for what you need and want -- nicely! Let your partner do the same.
• Practice compassion.
• Practice playing and having more fun.
• The next time you are making love, look deeply into your lover's eyes. Stay immersed in them and focused. Experience the whole event from that perspective, if possible. Keep your eyes wide open. Come back to your breath or your partner's eyes if your attention lapses.

It takes vigilance to be an adept at consciousness and focused attention. It's well worth it. You'll get so much more out of life, and your sex life will transform. Being great at techniques will no longer be the big picture, because what we all really crave is focused attention. When you can give that exquisitely, the techniques will naturally follow.

For more information about Suzie Heumann and her work, visit www.tantra.com. To really get the most out of your loving, consider some advanced training. The Tantric Sex Guide is your 24 hour a day guide to the skills that will take you to new heights of pleasure and intimacy.