Making Time for Love and Sex

You've got a meeting on Tuesday night, an early-morning seminar on Thursday, a conference on Saturday, and the list goes on. Your mate has been complaining that he hardly knows you anymore, let alone had intimate time with you. Sound familiar?

Studies show that people who are partnered or married live longer, happier lives. And if they have active lives that include sexuality, they live even longer. If you want to have more sensual and sexual time with your lover, however, you need to focus -- and work -- on making it happen. Luckily, there are some great ways to make it fun, lively and satisfying. Here's how:

• Look at your schedule and plan time with your partner away from your daily responsibilities. It's just that simple, though it can be oh-so-hard to start.
• Get in the habit of having quickies that only last 10 minutes. Morning sex can be fabulous, especially if he's practicing ejaculation control. Train him to not release himself in the morning, but to carry the energy built up from the morning's 10-minute quickie into his day. He'll be shocked at how much better it is than coffee. By evening, you'll be flinging yourselves at each other!

  As a woman, you'll also find it energizing. You don't need to worry that you take longer to get excited or to reach orgasm; just get into it for 10 minutes before you get out of bed, almost like a morning meditation. You'll soon see that the time it takes for you to get turned on will dramatically decrease, especially if you've practiced some G-spot massage during your two- and three-hour, once-a-week dates (see below).

• Schedule sensual dates. Get creative! For example, set up a tent up in the living room and hang sarongs inside to create the feel of a sultan's tent. Or, get a child's blow-up pool and put three cups of warm oil in it. Get in together and slip around. You can also orchestrate a candlelit evening with a light meal in front of the fire.
• Plan ahead for a weekend getaway. You may have to give up television one night a week so you have time to plan a fun trip. Then, when you're on the trip itself, spend some time consciously figuring out how to carve out more intimate time for when you get home. Remember that intimacy isn't about just spending time together; it's about revealing yourself to your partner in vulnerable ways. That is true intimacy.
• From time to time, take a day off of work. Use one of your sick days to get away. Go on a drive to the country, have a picnic, take a blanket and cuddle, smooch and laugh together. A renewal day will prevent you from needing to get sick just to slow down!

Our hectic lives are forced on us by the society we live in (travel to a South Pacific island and you'll see what I mean!) However, you do have a choice. Putting your time and energy into more loving will always pay off.