America's Dream Coach
A cast of characters lives inside of you, and at different times may present conflicting or contradictory messages. Certain parts may encourage you: "Go for your dreams!" Simultaneously, other parts may threaten: "Don't you dare!"
However, if you want to be happy, successful and fulfilled, you need to put your "Dreamer" into the director's chair.
As you turn up the volume on the voice of your Dreamer -- and turn down the voice of your Doubter -- you'll be better tuned to detect the subtle variations each message brings.
To assist you in discerning these voices, let's set up a simple scenario. Picture something you want -- a personal or professional dream. Then consider how the different aspects of your self might respond:
- Dreamer: The Dreamer inside is open to a creative process without overanalyzing it. This is the part of you that imagines, believes in possibilities, has hope and seeks kindred spirits. Dreamers talk about their ideas with intention, clarity and passion. Great Dreamers get others excited about their vision. And most importantly, successful Dreamers take action to make their dreams a reality.
Doubter: This voice is often heard saying things such as, "I don't think this is a good idea." The doubting voice plays the naysayer, touting, "But what if ...," and imagines the worst. It can even howl uncertainties, shouting things like, "Are you out of your mind?" at seemingly obnoxious, though internal, decibel levels.
William Shakespeare said, "Our doubts are traitors."Carlos Castaneda said, "In order to experience the magic of life, you must banish the doubt." My favorite quote on this subject is from The Prophet (Knopf, 1995), where Kahlil Gibran wrote, "Doubt is a feeling too lonely to know that Faith is its twin brother." Life Requires an Ensemble PerformanceAs you move toward a fuller life, consider casting these "supporting actors": Realist: Modulate the Doubter down a notch or two, and it becomes the essential voice of the Realist. This character wants to know, "What's the plan?" including where the time and money are coming from. Now, in the early phase of dreaming, you may not know the answer to the above questions. Yet honor this voice by giving it the information needed to the best of your ability. Being realistic is prudent and encourages you do your homework. The challenge, however, is to not allow the Realist to immediately turn into a Doubter who might judge or obliterate your idea. If you're overly realistic or enact a strategy too soon, you'll most likely compromise the dream, killing your passion in the process. Visionary: This voice says, "Anything is possible, so let's dream big!" This is often the predominant voice within people who are leaders and those whom we look up to and admire. A Visionary has a vision and invites others to join in its pursuit. We are often so inspired in the presence of a true Visionary that we sign up just to be near them or to be part of what they're doing. A Visionary is not defined by the size or scope of the dream, since dreams are unique and precious, coming in all shapes, sizes and areas of life. If you were living your dream life, how would it be different from your life now? What do you see yourself doing? How many lives would you touch? What would you change? Who would you help if you were truly living as a Visionary?
Avoid Sabotaging Your DreamWhen the different voices mentioned above merge together, they can become muddled, resulting in confusion and poor decision-making. The dissonance can leave you paralyzed or, at best, delayed in your progress. Let's say, for example, that the voices of the Dreamer and the Doubter are colliding in your mind. Thus, each step taken forward, bringing you closer to your dream, ironically moves in step with your doubt. To avoid allowing your doubt to sabotage your dream, try this simple technique: On a piece of paper, draw a line across the middle. On the top half, write out your dream with as much detail as possible. On the bottom, write out where you are now in relationship to your dream. This is your reality, and it usually includes the good, the bad and the ugly, such as any fear or doubt you may have. Just state the facts and your feelings about them. Now ask yourself, "Are you more committed to your dream or to your reality?" We tend to choose "reality" when we don't have a clearly defined dream or when we saturate our dream with doubt. If following your dream means dodging your worst fears, reality will always seem safer and saner. Yet doubt can serve an important purpose, often offering you a reality check. Viewing doubt this way allows two things to happen. First, you're able to see it for what it really is: an obstacle blown out of proportion that just requires a strategy to manage it. Bringing doubt out into the light, it's no longer distorted by fear's ability to magnify even the smallest truth. Faced head-on, its power over you diminishes. Secondly, and more importantly, with doubt where it rightfully belongs, you are free to move forward.
It's like a play. Each of the characters has wisdom and insight, but you can't clearly understand them when they're all speaking at once. Take the time to tune in, listen and, on a regular basis, have the courage to give your Dreamer its directorial debut -- or even the leading role! Marcia Wieder is the author of Making Your Dreams Come True and Doing Less and Having More. Find our more about her programs and products by visiting www.dreamcoach.com or by calling (800) 869-9881. - - - - - Have a question for Marcia Wieder, America's Dream Coach? Ask it here. Want more career advice? Subscribe to the ThirdAge
Source: Money & Work
CONTRIBUTE TO THIS STORY
