The Quickie -- Tantra-Style

For almost everything we do in life, there's a long version and a short version. You normally sleep a full night, but you might also take short naps. You usually sit down to a full meal, but you might also stop at the corner burrito shop for lunch on the run. And when it comes to sex, we sometimes have a lot more time than others, so the quickie becomes a necessity in everyone's relationship.

Since women usually take longer to warm up for sex, the quickie usually means that only the man gets satisfied. And for that reason, it's a double-edged sword -- she may want it, but she won't likely get much out of it except frustration. But you can beat the bad rap with the Tantric "quickie."

The point of the Tantric quickie is to:

• Heighten your sexual energy. Unlike longer sexual situations, the quickie builds sexual charge rather than dispelling it through orgasmic and ejaculatory release.
• Practice being almost immediately ready for intimacy (especially for women).
• Train men to last longer and to feel their sexual energy without expending it.
• Fuel a heightened sexual tension between you and your partner. Sexual tension is peaked when you engage in fairly intense sexual play and then stop before resolution is reached. You'll want sex more often in this state.
• Quickly increase your level of intimacy. It's like having a secret that binds you together.
• Help regulate hormone levels in both women and men. This is due to the fact that the "quickie" encourages you to engage in sexual activity more often.

Here are some possible quickie scenarios. Each of these takes only 10 minutes and should be done one or twice a day on a regular basis, just like going to the gym. Put them in your schedule!

• Make love in the morning. Spend just a couple of minutes getting each other stimulated, then go right to intercourse. Use a position that has you facing each other, and keep your eyes open. Neither of you will have an orgasm at first, and the man should never ejaculate. Orgasm is not the point. Connecting is.
• Lie facing each other and eye-gaze for 10 minutes. After five minutes of soft, slow breathing, pick up the pace of the breath. Together, take ten rapid breaths, then follow the set with one slow, deep breath. Repeat the fast pattern three times. This is a "charging breath" and will really get you up and enthusiastically ready for the day.
• Try a little risky behavior. Have sex somewhere you might not usually have it. In the bathroom. In the kitchen. In the car. Keep it safe but with a slight edge. Maybe the backyard would be a good choice, or the bathroom of your favorite restaurant (five minutes!). Again, don't orgasm.
• Arrive somewhere ten minutes early. Stay in the car and stimulate each other for ten minutes only. Don't be late!
• Surprise each other with ten minutes of oral sex. Take turns on different occasions. Gift your partner but keep it to ten minutes. Men, don't ejaculate!

You'll get better at these exercises very quickly and you'll find them highly erotic and very useful for your general energy levels throughout the day. They're better than a shot of expresso coffee, and you'll both find yourselves thinking of the other a lot more. These suggestions will take a few weeks for you to fully feel the results. Try them -- trust me -- you'll like them!

For more information about Suzie Heumann and her work, visit www.tantra.com. To really get the most out of your loving, consider some advanced training. The Tantric Sex Guide is your 24 hour a day guide to the skills that will take you to new heights of pleasure and intimacy.