How To Regain Your Self-Confidence

  • Negative experiences -- going through a divorce, losing a job -- can profoundly alter the way we see ourselves and deal with the world around us. You may find yourself feeling like you can’t control your life, or that you’re not good enough. And that can lead to more serious problems like depression. But there some smart steps you can take to help yourself bounce back.

    Focus On Your Strengths

    In order to get past nonstop negative thoughts about yourself, begin refocusing your attention on what you’re good at. Perhaps you’re a great listener, a whiz at math, or an excellent cook. Make a list of all of your strengths. Yes, this may seem like an exercise you haven’t done since the fourth grade, but it will help get you into the mindset of believing you are a strong, talented person who is ready to conquer the world.
  • Start A Creative Project Perhaps you’ve always wanted to learn how to knit, sew or paint. But a hectic life can make many people forget about these hopes. After you experience a huge letdown, you’re likely to benefit from revisiting your creative desires. What have you been meaning to do for years, but have never actually tried? Singing? Pottery? Photography? Again, make a list, and commit to making one of your creative projects a reality. It will take your mind off what recently happened – and give you something positive to focus on.
  • Smile According to several studies, smiling is good for your health and can even make you feel more confident. When you smile – even if you don’t feel happy – you’re sending signals to your brain that can actually cause you to feel happier. Additionally, smiling helps lower your blood pressure, release endorphins, and lower stress. It’s a good habit to get into!
  • Surround Yourself With The Right People Spend time with friends and family members who are sources of positive energy. Ditch that friend who subtly makes you feel bad about yourself. Spend more time with the one who puts wind in your sails and makes you feel empowered. When you surround yourself with people who accept you and appreciate your strengths, you will begin to internalize those sentiments and end up feeling better about yourself.
  • Exercise Regular exercise does more than improve your energy levels and physiological health – it also releases neurotransmitters and feel-good endorphins, which can make you feel more happier, calmer, and more centered. That goes a long way towards improving your self-confidence.
  • Take A Risk We’re not talking about something extreme, like taking a huge financial gamble or climbing Mt. Everest. But facing one of your fears can make you feel powerful and in control. It’s not easy to do, but the benefit can be significant. What’s something you’ve been afraid to do? It could be something as simple as karaoke, or it could be a bigger commitment, like learning to surf. By doing something that scares you, you will know that you can do it, and you’ll have a newfound sense of self-confidence.
  • Be Grateful When you feel insecure and down, it’s easy to get stuck in the trap of focusing on what you don’t have. That only makes you feel worse and less likely to obtain the things you want, whether it’s emotional validation or money. By appreciating what you already have, you can retrain your brain to be thankful instead of resentful. Set aside some time to write down three things per day that you are grateful for. These could be skills you have, relationships you value, or work that you find meaningful. Do this every day for at least one week, and you will start to feel the habitual gratitude that leads to self-confidence, because you know your life is good.