Do It Every Night

What happens when we make a leap-of-faith and decide to do something that sounds so radical to our friends and family but seems perfectly sane to us?

One example might be the two couples who recently made the decision to make love for either everyday for a year or at least for 101 days. They have new books out, 365 Nights and Just Do It, so you can read about them. From the looks of their very smiley pictures it must have worked but I confess I haven’t read the books.

What I know is this, though, they have radically increased their imaginative powers, their fitness, their adventurous spirit and their oxytocin and dopamine levels, not to mention their blood flow to the brain and their intimate intuitive levels of connection. That is a whole lot to say for something that sounds relatively simple.

Oxytocin is the neurohormone that bonds us to our babies and our friends and our lovers. We produce it in our body when someone touches us kindly, kisses us, makes love to us, sucks our breast or allows us to give birth to them. Orgasm, birth and nursing give us the big bursts but current discoveries in science have also revealed that we produce it when we eye gaze.

Remember holding your newborn and softly searching each other’s eyes for smiles and understanding and even angst? Eye gazing is one of the first exercises that Western Tantra suggests to lovers. This is also why soft lighting during lovemaking is suggested. Looking into each other’s eyes produces the bonding chemicals like oxytocin that bind us together.

You can imagine how ‘doing it’ every day, especially with the lights on, might increase your bonding and it may even increase your longing and desire for your intimate connection each day. The ‘high’ from more adventurous sex, which has got to come about because, after all, they’re doing it everyday, causes an increase in dopamine. Dopamine is the desire/reward neurotransmitter. The stronger your desire the more ‘addicted’ you become to the reward. A cycle is created that is self-fulfilling.

So the idea of ‘doing it’ everyday begins to look like a relationship enhancer rather than, well, work. Leap-of-faith – just say ‘Yes’ and see what happens!

PS: If you do would you please let me know how it goes.