We cringe when we hear the term breast cancer. Its every womans secret fear. And sadly, it is many womens reality. Breast cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer among women. BUT there is good news breast cancer survivors are living increasingly longer, higher quality lives. And as more women survive and thrive after breast cancer, many want better sex lives. Good for them!!
It is true that there are many sexual complications from breast cancer treatment that impact a womans sexuality. This is an extraordinarily challenging time for a woman, and she feels the effect of her treatment in just about every aspect of her life sex included. For example, chemotherapy effects such as nausea, fatigue, and hair thinning can negatively impact most womens desire for and enjoyment of sex. The emotional impact of surgical scaring is very real and can hurt a womans self-image. Direct sexual side effects of chemotherapy can include vaginal dryness, painful intercourse, loss of arousal, and difficulty with orgasm, among other issues. Unfortunately, depression, irritability, anxiety and fear can make it difficult for a woman to connect emotionally with her intimate partner during this time a time that she needs tenderness and comfort the most.
But for most women, this treatment state is time-limited. With time, her life regains a sense of normalcy. During this process, what can women do who want to remain sexually connected to their partner? First of all, I encourage my patients to be gentle with themselves, and give themselves as much time as they need to reconnect with their partner. Now is a time for you to be oh so compassionate with yourself. Cuddle time may replace intercourse for a while. Pretty lingerie may help ease feelings of body self-consciousness. When resuming a sexual connection, approach making love as a process to enjoy and savor, not simply for the goal of having intercourse and an orgasm. Remember that your brain and your heart truly are your most powerful sex organs, so use them. Take time to really feel your love for your partner before getting sexual. What is it about your partner that you really appreciate? Honor his more outstanding qualities. Remember sexual experiences you have shared and enjoyed. In this way you can use your sexual experiences from the past to help reconnect you now. If you do want to resume intercourse, make sure you have a good lubricant, and try positions that minimize deep penetration, such as side to side, or female superior. I also recommend reading Women Cancer Sex by Anne Katz.
If you have experiences youd like to share about resuming your sexual experience after breast cancer, wed love to hear from you! Gift other readers with the caring gesture of your wisdom and advice, or simply share your experience!About the Author: Marianne Brandon, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and the president and director of Wellminds Wellbodies LLC, a center for integrative and holistic psychological care in Annapolis, Maryland. The co-author of Reclaiming Desire: 4 Keys for Finding Your Lost Libido, Dr. Brandon is also a Diplomat in Sex Therapy through the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. Her next book, Monogamy: The Untold Story, will be published in September.
