Men, on the other hand, have a far different and darker view. For them, Valentine's Day is a rigged crapshoot perpetuated by the nation's florists, jewelers and "chocolatiers" to separate us from our hard-earned cash with only slim prospects of a return.
In fact, for those with a Y chromosome, Feb. 14 feels a lot like April 15, only wrapped in big red hearts.
It's not that men are cheap or uncaring. Quite the contrary: Men are cheap and caring. It's just that our classic Valentine's Day disclaimer -- "I don't need a special day to tell you I love you" -- is pretty much the definition of a romantic nonstarter.
Let's face it; women and men want the same thing out of Valentine's Day: a gesture of thoughtfulness and caring unsullied by commerce that stokes the fire between us.
In the spirit of healing a divided nation, here are 10 wonderfully romantic ways that guys can survive and possibly even enjoy this annual "affaire de coeur" without gratuitous spending.
Take a romantic hostage
Forget seduction, try abduction. Drop by her workplace midmorning on the Friday before Valentine's Day, blindfold her with her best red scarf, usher her to your car and drive off -- with her boss's prior permission, of course. What to do with your romantic hostage? How about lunch where you had your first date? Or a picnic at the courthouse where you were married? Or a latte at her favorite art museum or bookstore? Then again, there are always romantic possibilities at home.
