8 Ways to Save Money on Wedding Gifts

The wedding invitation: treat or trap?

In an era of belt-tightening and beefed-up emergency funds, it can be a financial quandary. Between the engagement party and the big day, the multitude of gifts required for multiple showers, bachelor and bachelorette parties, and -- of course -- the big event itself, can leave a wedding guest flat broke.

"This obviously can add up very quickly," says Amy Eisinger, associate editor for WeddingChannel.com. "It is an expensive honor to be a wedding guest."

So what's a budget-minded attendee to do?

Here are eight wedding gift secrets to help you find your way without losing your mind or your wallet to wedding fever.

Keep it in perspective. If you were invited, (absent rare instances of wedding gift greed), it means you are special to the couple or their family.

And while a wedding gift is never demanded as the price of admission, it's become a custom.

One smart approach: Plan ahead.

Early in the game, come up with an overall dollar limit of what you want to spend on gifts for this wedding, says Eric Tyson, author of "Personal Finance in Your 20s for Dummies." Then decide, of that amount, how much you want to spend for each gift-giving occasion or party.

Whatever limit you set, put aside the bulk of it for the main wedding present, Eisinger says.

On average, guests typically spend $60 to $120 for the wedding gift, she says. Friends average about $79, and family members tend to spend a little more averaging about $146, according to a 2010 study by WeddingChannel.com.

And be realistic. "I couldn't remember five of my wedding gifts," Tyson says. "It's more meaningful to look back at pictures of the wedding and see the good time you shared. People understand that not everyone has a six-figure salary."

The wedding gift registry is not a menu. You're allowed to improvise.

"Not everybody is aware of that," says Peggy Post, author of "Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette" and director of The Emily Post Institute. "It's up to the gift-giver to select a gift."

Guests want to select something "they hope the couple will like," she says. "But there is no rule that they have to select something off the registry."

However, not everyone agrees. "We always suggest that people try to stick to the registry," Eisinger says. "The couple created the registry because there are things they really want and really need."

That said, "if you want to go off the registry, try to keep in mind what the couple might actually really want and need," she says. "This is not the appropriate time to give gag gifts."

Or you can use the registry to get an idea of what the couple needs, says Tyson. Then select something appropriate (on or off the list), with your budget in mind, he says.

"You have to be careful not to fall prey to the notion that your affection for people is equated with the money you spend on the gift," Tyson says.

Good news for wedding guests who can't spend $100 for a sterling silver tea spoon and still cover the rent: Group gifts are not considered cheap.

Group gifts are an excellent idea, Eisinger says. And they are becoming increasingly popular. It's another way for guests to manage costs and still stick to the registry.

It's the popular wedding guest's worst nightmare: Every party, shower and pre-wedding fete requires yet another gift. How can anyone without "his or her royal highness" after their name even afford it?

But you don't have to show up with a gift for every occasion, Post says.

"If you're invited to more than one shower, I say be smart about it," she says. "If you feel you're breaking the bank, go with a smaller gift. Attendants, especially, get invited to a lot of showers. You don't have to take a gift to every single shower. Or maybe you don't go to every shower."

Eisinger recommends a slightly different approach.

"It is appropriate to bring a small token of appreciation to each one of the parties you're invited to," Eisinger says.

But don't be afraid to get creative and personal. Some suggestions: compile a book of your favorite recipes, frame a special photo or assemble a small gift basket.

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