Seven Steps to Stop an Overspending Spouse

QUESTION: My wife is spending us into bankruptcy. I need a legal means to separate our credit without having to divorce her.

ANSWER: I am glad to hear you say you would like to avoid divorce, because, if you don't like overspending, you are going to hate divorce! Adding a divorce to a financial problem is similar to adding gasoline to a fire. It tends to make things much hotter for both parties involved -- very rarely better.

I do have a question for you before we move forward with the next part of your question. Have you sat down and spoken with your wife about how much she is spending and what it is doing to your shared financial situation? If the answer is no, give it a try.

I mention sitting down, because I can still recall my dad waving bills in the air while standing in front of the heap of papers he kept on the dining room table and admonishing each of us as we walked into and out of the room about our unbridled spending. It was not as effective as he would have liked. So, as a starting point, sit down together. My experience tells me that if you aren't in sync on spending, poor communication may be at the root of the problem.Below are some suggestions to be used in conjunction with a sit-down with the wife that may help address your financial concerns.

Talk about money before you get married! That was unfair, wasn't it? Sorry, I couldn't resist.  Check to see if you are in a community property state. There are nine of them (Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington and Wisconsin). Also, Puerto Rico has community property and in Alaska, the land of individual choice, it's optional. If you live in one of these states, your options are more limited. Her debts are your debts if they were incurred after the marriage. If the sit-down discussion doesn't work, see a credit counselor. If that fails, see a lawyer.  Get a copy of all three of your credit reports to assure that you have all the information. Your spouse could have credit accounts of which you are not aware.Next: Send a letter to all joint credit card issuers >
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Source: Money & Work

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