7 Tips: Caring for Loved Ones with Alzheimer's

Caring for an elderly loved one afflicted with Alzheimer's disease (one form of dementia) is often one of the most difficult journeys a family will ever have to take. However, with a little insight the road can be more bearable. And by implementing some creative behavioral techniques to reduce caregiver stress, the experience can become quite rewarding.  

I have learned these lessons the hard way when I cared for my elderly parents for several years, both with health problems and the beginning of dementia. My father could become extremely difficult -- OK, "challenging" -- while my mother remained as sweet and lovely as she'd always been.

1. Live in Their Reality
I remember one day when the senior shuttle brought them home from the adult day care center they loved going to daily and Mom said proudly, "Guess what? Dad got a part-time job today!"

"He did! That's wonderful -- what are you doing, Dad?"

"Well, I'm taking care of Clark Gable's horses," he grinned from ear to ear.

Mom nodded, "Yes, so we have to go shopping for hay tomorrow, honey."

My initial instinct was to correct the facts, saying that those horses were long past dead, but instead, I realized that it was kinder to validate what they believed was true and to live happily in their reality of the moment.

"Wow, Dad, what an honor. I am so proud of you," I said as I kissed him and he beamed.

By the next day they had forgotten all about Clark and his horses, but I just can't tell you how much enjoyment they got from believing it was true the day before. I was so glad that I had curbed my desire to be accurate and that I didn't spoil a harmless fantasy for them.