Help! Caring for My Parents is Making Me Miserable

Question: Caring for my aging parent is leaving me frustrated, stressed and exhausted. What can I do to help myself?

Answer: Turning to a caregiver support group as a source of emotional support can help family members feel less alone and improve their ability to deal with the uncertainties eldercare brings, according to Joy Loverde in Will a Support Group Really Help?

Family caregivers say that the number one reason why they do not attend support groups is that they can't find the time. That's certainly understandable. Most of us are being pulled in a hundred different directions -- between our children, job responsibilities, relationships, personal commitments, and the aged one who is relying upon us for attention and assistance. Prioritizing our to-do list, in order of importance, is the key to "finding" time. Consequently, the decision to attend a caregiver support group is based on making an investment -- in your own well-being. It's a choice we all can make, and you are worth every minute.

So what goes on in these meetings? Simply put, individuals who are facing similar eldercare challenges come together in a confidential atmosphere to share their experiences, gain perspective, offer and receive advice, and feel the profound comfort derived from being around others who know exactly what they're going through. When you sit down with other caregivers who have shared your experience, you feel a sense of closeness and connection. The camaraderie, laughter and tears that take place in a group setting help banish feelings of isolation. Support groups are empowering, yet comforting. People ask how you are. You come away feeling: I am not alone.

Groups vary in approach, size, and how often they meet and are often led by a licensed professional such as a geriatric case manager, psychologist or social worker. Special illness organizations like Alzheimer's, Cancer and Parkinson's, for example, bring together caregivers who are all dealing with the same disease. While some groups take on more of a free-flow of sharing, other groups may have a more structured format, including employing the talents of local experts and reading books on related subjects. Online support groups are also gaining in popularity. What's important is to choose a format and approach where you will feel comfortable and relaxed.