Sometimes my sister, who takes care of my 90-year-old mother, feels trapped, confined, isolated, and stir-crazy, especially during the holiday season. But today she said that when she puts mom to bed at night and mom gives her a hug and kisses, and tells her how much she loves and appreciates her, its all worth it. Moms mind may wander while her body stays put in a wheelchair, but she is still able to give and receive love and it is good to be in a position to share that with someone you have known your entire life.
At this point, mom could probably be in a nursing home on Medicaid. But the care she would receive would not be as good as what my sister and a few trusted CNAs can provide. Even when mom was in one of the most expensive and attractive nursing homes in the state, there were times she was neglected because of staffing issues, instances when her medication orders were mixed up, and days when she was woken up rudely and hygiene routines ignored because of other peoples schedules.
My sister takes care of mom as tenderly as mom took care of our dad when he became frail and us when we were babies and children. I remember my mother, lifting my sister in and out of her day crib in the dining room and encouraging her to take her first steps on our kitchen floor. Ive seen my sister wrap her arms around moms back, lift her from her wheelchair, and dance her onto the side of the bed. The same feat is repeated every morning getting her in the car to go to Circle of Friends, where she can socialize for part of the day and get some physical therapy, and picking her up later and getting her out of the car in the dark during winter, making sure the snow has been shoveled so mom doesnt slip.
