Elder Care

Excellent HBO Alzheimer's Special!

If you didn't see it or you don't get HBO, you must see these four excellent programs available online free-of-charge. I recommend "Momentum in Science" first, as it is so encouraging to see the latest research: http://www.hbo.com/events/alzheimers. The other three are helpful with managing loved ones with dementia, however, they missed a great technique when a person doesn't recognize a loved one or themself in a mirror. The trick is simply to ask their age. When they say something like "35" instead of "85", you understand why they don't recognize people how they look now. More…

Elder Mediation

If I had only known about the effectiveness of Elder Mediation (EM) during the hardest year of my life as a caregiver to my elderly parents, I could have saved myself so much heartache, time and money—and even my own precious health. For eleven years my challenging elderly father took care of my sweet but ailing mother, calling me long-distance daily to complain about how difficult it was yet refusing my constant pleas to accept help. Every caregiver I hired to help him would call within a few days of my flying back home and sigh in exasperation, “Jacqueline, I’m sorry, I just can’t work with your unreasonable father!” More…

Holiday Retirement Inn: Here We Come!

As the economy declines and seniors’ homes aren’t worth what they once were, and retirement nest eggs are lost just when they are needed most, seniors are trying to figure out creative ways to pay for their retirement years. Before giving up and moving in with your kids, here is an idea that has been circulating in various forms on the Internet for years, but now it is actually quite worthy of consideration! More…

How Can I Get My Stubborn Elderly Father to Accept a Caregiver in His Home?

Ohhh, I had this exact situation while I was caring for my parents, so I know how exasperating it is! I actually went through 40 caregivers the first year—well, most only there for about ten minutes as my father would be so nasty they’d run out of the house or he’d throw them out. After much trial and tears, I finally figured out how to handle the many complexities of the situation—so I want to share what I unfortunately had to learn the hard way! More…

Assisted Living Options: Research Early, Don’t Wait for Crisis Call

WELCOME BACK ALL MY CAREGIVERS! At one of my recent seminars, an “at-her-wit’s-end” adult daughter, Sally, rushed up afterward pleading for my advice on how to get her elderly parents to move to Assisted Living before their health deteriorated any further. She lived cross-country and was terrified about them being alone as there had already been a few close calls—like the time her father left the gas stove on without it lighting, filling the house with fumes and nearly asphyxiating himself and his wife. Sally had already tried to hire caregivers to come into her parents’ home, but her obstinate father wouldn’t allow it, so she was desperate to get them to move before the next crisis call—hoping it wouldn’t be for actually burning the house down… or worse! More…

Coping with a Chilly Challenging Elder

WELCOME BACK ALL MY CAREGIVERS! My challenging elderly father always said he was feeling a bit chilly, but he’d refuse to put on a sweater or more clothes at home. He wouldn’t even wear a jacket over his thin summer clothes whenever he went outside, which of course he also wore in the winter. A wonderful caregiver (Ariana) and I constantly offered warm soups and warm liquids, but he’d refuse, only wanting to eat corn flakes with cold milk. We also constantly tried to get him to take warm showers--forget it, he’d just rather complain (and smell). More…

Traveling with a Demented Elder

Welcome back all my caregivers! Recently I was so dismayed to see a sweet little elderly lady (obviously suffering from dementia) and her devoted adult daughter, being delayed and searched at an airport checkpoint. The daughter was a bit heavy and apparently her underwire bra kept setting off the alarm, which finally embarrassed her to tears. The mom, seeing her daughter getting so upset, got so frightened and confused that soon she was in a frenzied panic. More…

Suspecting Dementia in Your Loved One? Know the Mini-Mental State Exam (MMSE)

  Welcome back all my caregivers! More…

What is the Myth of Alzheimer's?

Just what is the myth of Alzheimer's? What are you not being told about today's most dreaded diagnosis? More…

Top Ten Dementia Eldercare Recommendations

WELCOME BACK ALL MY CAREGIVERS! When people hear about what I went through during the year of caring for my elderly parents, they often ask what I would do differently if I had to relive the experience with the knowledge I have now. I sigh and say, “Ohhh, if only I could! I’d know exactly what to do to help my parents much sooner and I would be able to save so much time, money, and a fortune in Kleenex!” If you are heading into the eldercare years, please learn from my mistakes and don’t reinvent the wheel. Here are my top ten recommendations: 1. Consider buying Long-Term Care Insurance while everyone is healthy. More…