Attachment

A Different Look at Attachment

I believe that I've shared with you the fact that aside from being a psychologist in private practice, I also serve on the faculty of a local University in the undergraduate Psychology Department. In this role, one of the things I pride myself in is the ability to explain to a student a concept that she may find difficult in a way that is understandable. Admittedly, it gives me great personal satisfaction when I see the student's face change from a blank stare to one of acknowledgment. More…

Anatomy of a Commitment Issue

In last week’s post, I discussed with you the need everyone has to feel attached. In other words, we all want to feel like we matter to someone. This is a basic biological need that is present at birth and continues throughout life. I also told you a little bit about some research studies which indicated that the early attachment styles of children proved to be indicative of how someone relates in their later relationships. A Different Child One type of child in the study I referred to in last week’s post did not seem to have a problem when Mama left. She didn’t cry upon Mama’s leave-taking, was able to play on her own, didn’t need soothing from the stranger, and didn’t pay attention when Mama returned. More…

Attachment -- Not Such a Bad Thing

Though most people want to be part of a relationship, there’s also a familiar warning that you should not look to your partner to complete you. I, myself, have advised clients of this. Thinking that Prince (Princess) Charming is coming along and going to make all right in the world is a Hollywood fantasy. But this can be very confusing; especially as more and more is coming out in the relationship literature about the absolute necessity for attachment. Attachment is good but wanting to have your partner make you whole is bad? Yes! Some quick history More…