Life After Oprah

Life Without Oprah When the queen of talk-TV ended her 25-year run yesterday, America knew it had some serious adjusting to do. The world has changed—for better or worse, depending upon your therapy budget—in many, many ways. Here are seven :

No More Love Fests

America’s highest-profile Mutual Admiration Society shut down. Whether Julia Roberts or Donald Trump, celebrities rarely sat beside Oprah without paying homage to her vast wonderfulness—and she to theirs.

The Sobbing Will Stop No more of Oprah’s tears as guests reveal some heartache that mimics one, coincidentally, she herself experienced. But Oprah may still tear up when the ratings for her struggling network, OWN, are delivered.

Goodbye, Gayle Gossip Adios to those frequent guest appearances by Oprah’s best friend, Gayle King. Without the duo finishing each other’s sentences before millions of viewers, how will gossip columnists continue to stoke those lesbian rumors?

Say Goodbye To Familiar Surroundings The end of “Aha” moments, those signature life-changing discoveries shared by celebrities and the talk-show host herself. Not that the word won’t be heard again: When the seekers of the obscurely placed OWN finally find their shrine, they’re sure to utter, “Aha!”

Shrinks Will Make (More) Money Therapists can look for a windfall as the country’s de facto psychiatrist removed her network shingle. Oprah may have unleashed Dr. Phil on America, but when it comes to a session with a real sob sister, no one beat Dr. Winfrey.

All Quiet On The Family Front Bye-bye to sweeps-week surprises, like Oprah’s revelation that she had a long-lost half-sister, Patricia, whom she’s interviewing in this photo. (Note to scammers: Don’t pretend to be an Oprah relative unless you’ve got the DNA to prove it.)

We're Not Going To Score Any Free Stuff And come December, how will we know it’s Christmastime without the “Oprah’s Favorite Things” episode, wherein the audience went home with cameras, mixers and other loot anointed by Oprah that year. The good news is that those who only watched the extravagant giveaways from home won’t have to feel inadequate because they’ve never tasted cupcakes from Oprah’s favorite bakery! Let us know how you are adjusting to life without Oprah.