A New Man--With Old Problems
So how much should you try to help, or become involved? It depends on the length and depth of the relationship. Every situation is different, and there are no hard and fast rules. Also how much does your man expect or want you to get involved? And remember: even if you are a professional therapist, your advice or involvement may quickly carry you into water that’s over your head.
It’s sad but true, but a common problem women often find themselves in is lending a new man money. Even if he says he will pay you right back, this is probably not a good idea. Even if you can afford to lose it, lending him money alters the balance of the relationship.
Whatever your new man’s problems are, when his problems become your problems, or eat into your time together, it’s definitely time to re-assess. Unless you have a Florence Nightingale complex, you must ask yourself, is this the relationship you really want? Instead of the new relationship carrying you forward, is it dragging you back into old problems you already had? Discuss this with your new man and remind him you’re just dating. Tell him you’d like to be less involved in his predicaments. After all, you’re not married. Your relationship is not “for better or worse.”
Eve Marx is the author of eight sex books. Her titles include "What's Your Sexual IQ?," "Flirtspeak: The Sexy Language of Flirtation," "The Goddess Orgasm," and "101 Things You Didn’t Know About Sex."