After a bad relationship experience, many singles take a much-needed relationship break to regroup and recover. Some singles get stuck in this break, however, and stay single for years at a time -- or permanently.
Even though these singles don't enjoy theloneliness, they do appreciate the lack of hurt and drama in the absence of a relationship. Many justify continuing to stay single by saying they are not yet ready for a relationship.
This brings up the question of how a single person mayeffectively get ready for a relationship.
When people say they are not ready for a relationship, what they really mean is that they are not ready to go through the trauma of their last few relationships again. Many people don't even realize this is what they mean, but who would want to dive right into the heartache of a good relationship gone wrong? Who could ever get ready for pain? Almost no one. Many singles reach a stage when they take a look at a lifetime of good relationships gone bad, realizing they are the only common denominator. At this point many singles decide in the back of their minds that they are simply incapable or -- worse yet -- undeserving of having a good relationship. Then they put themselves on indefinite hold. They may say they are not yet ready, but underneath it all they may never again allow love in order to avoid the hurt that follows.
After a person puts him or herself on a "relationship hold," there is almost no way back to love. This is especially true for those people on hold who think the way back to love will simply come with time. The passing of months or years will not get you ready for another relationship. A lifetime of being single may pass and you will still not be ready for another relationship. Work, coupled with the determination to have a loving relationship, is needed. Getting ready for a relationship can take a relatively short amount of time, as long as the time is spent doing the real work of getting ready. Some of the steps involved in getting ready to love again include: Figuring out your relationship pattern and what exactly went wrong in your past relationships Learning about what you need in a relationship and learning to pick a partner who can satisfy those needs Learning healthier relationship behaviors, like how to pick better partners and how to successfully start and build a relationship Getting out there and meeting new people, with an emphasis on meeting new types of people who you have not met before Learning how to avoiding common dating and relationship pitfalls If you are single or know someone who is and hear, "I am not ready for a relationship," remind yourself or your friend that without the right actions and strong intent, the readiness itself may never come.Master Certified Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries coaches singles to attract and build loving, fulfilling, long-term relationships. For more information about Coach Rinatta Paries and the myriad of services she has created for singles, visit her Web site, WhatItTakes.com.
Source: Relationships & Love
