When it comes to love, are you too picky . . . or not picky enough? By simply adjusting your expectations you may improve your chances of finding true love. But how can you adjust your level of pickiness? Read on.
You're Too Picky If ...
1. You have no problem getting dates, but everyone you go out with turns you off in some way.
2. You've got very specific ideas about who your partner needs to be when it comes to things like income level, profession, and interests.
3. You need a person to prove himself to you before you even consider opening up.
4. You expect that your partner will never let you down.
5. You'll only date a particular "type" person or someone with a particular style.
If you identify more with the "Too Picky" list, it may be because you're trying to protect yourself from being hurt and you're looking for a "perfect" partner who'd never cause you pain. Because of this, you end up alone.
You're Not Picky Enough If . . .
1. You're willing to date anyone fairly decent, regardless of whether or not he's a good match for you.
2. You don't want much from a partner. If he's got a sense of humor, a job, and feelings for you, then he's good enough.
3. You dive, heart-first, into relationships quickly.
4. You accept lots of imperfections.5. You date people you're not physically attracted to.If you identify more with the "Not Picky Enough" list, you wind up with people who aren't very good matches. Maybe you've not been in a relationship for some time and you're so desperate for love that being with any person seems better than being alone. Picky ParametersWho doesn't want a relationship that works? Here's how to be picky about potential partners:1. Look for someone who has similar values, communication style, and sense of integrity. With these characteristics in common, the two of you will experience less conflict and you'll enjoy each other's company. 2. Share the same family goals. Do you both want children? Do you both want to get married? These things can make -- or break -- a potential relationship.3. Choose a kind and gentle person who cares about people's emotions. Relationships can be hard. During difficult times, you want someone who'll treat you well.4. Make sure you partner's ex isn't lurking around, hoping to reignite the relationship. With an ex in the picture, he may be torn between the past and present relationship, and won't be ready to be all yours. If emotions and circumstances have been worked through and put to rest, you won't have to worry about his past.
5. To avoid unhealthy dependencies and resentments, you want someone who can live well with or without you. The person you choose should have a job or a career -- or be comfortably ready for retirement -- and have his finances in order (or at least be working on them). Don't, however, be too concerned with how much a person earns. If you're in different financial brackets, you can work together to even things out.6. He should be a hottie to your eyes. Healthy physical intimacy is critical to a long-term happy relationship. That said, don't get too focused on how a person looks and you just might be surprised to find yourself attracted to someone who is not "your type."Too picky or not picky enough, you can still end up alone. It's better to choose your picky points so that you can attract a balanced person and to create a compatible, satisfying relationship.Master Certified Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries coaches singles to attract and build loving, fulfilling, long-term relationships.
Source: Relationships & Love
