There are a surprising number of chronically single people -- bright, nice, loving people who for whatever reason are unlucky in love.
I have already written many articles to address the needs of those chronically single, trying to give them tips to stop being single. I have even written a series of articles on this topic. But I am still getting as many requests for help with this situation as ever.
I think the problem is that many chronically single people think that there is the answer, the magic piece of information they can be given to make their love lives turn around.I hate to say this, but sorry . . . it doesn't work that way. Relationship issues are better viewed in the same context as addiction or disease. If you were addicted to, say, smoking or food, you would know there was not one answer. You would expect to take a series of often-difficult steps. You would have too overcome your own personality in order to succeed and get better. If you had a disease such as diabetes or heart disease, you would know you would have to continuously take certain steps, again overcoming your personality at times, in order to live well.
Being single -- and especially being chronically single -- is like that. Think of it as chronic singles disease. I know, this sounds depressing. But looking at being single this way can also give you hope. If being single is a "disease," then there must be a "cure." And there is.
But the "cure" comes at a cost. The cost is hard work. You must overcome certain personality characteristics you will find hard to overcome and take actions that seem inconvenient and out ofyour comfort zone.The end result of the "cure" is love.Are you willing to deal with the "cure" to get love? If you say yes, there is one action I will challenge you to take right now. Yes, it will be hard and out of your comfort zone, but we have already established that this is what the "cure" will involve.Start by widening your social circle. Here's why: You want to cast a wide net and get to know the many friends of your many friends, to increase your chances of meeting your right person. You are a social animal with social needs that have to be met. You have to meet these needs both before you get into a relationship and while you are in one. You need support when single and in the early stages of a relationship. You need something fun to do while being single and in the early stages of a relationship so that your new partner is not your only source of pleasure. You can learn about some of your relationship issues in friendships, before these issues ruin your romantic relationship.It is difficult to meet new people, especially if you feel, as some singles do, that you already don't know anyone. It is difficult to attend events or clubs or groups alone and see cliques, which can seem impossible to break through. But at some point you have to do it. Just go out there and get involved! And your perpetual singleness will begin to get "cured." Master Certified Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries coaches singles to attract and build loving, fulfilling, long-term relationships. For more information about Coach Rinatta Paries and the myriad of services she has created for singles, visit her Web site, WhatItTakes.com.
Source: Relationships & Love
