You've done it! You've finally meet someone you know you could love and share your life with. You envision romantic trips and getaways for two. Then, your dream partner fills you in on one little detail: He has children living at home.
You're confident the kids won't be a problem, but what should you be aware of if you're going to get serious? Here, we've outlined seven kid-centric tips to keep in mind.
1. Children living at home need to be top priority. Insisting on being the center of attention is a no-no and few parents will displace the lives of their children for a new love. Remember the old adage "Blood is thicker than water?" In this case, it's oh-so true.
David Silver, a single father from Elberon, N.J., explained why a four-year relationship with a woman ended: "I offered her a place of equal importance with my children -- everybody gets to be number one -- but that wasn't good enough, and it began to get in the way."
2. Children may be resentful of anybody who enters their single parent's life. Be prepared to hear, "You aren't my mom," particularly if you've got disciplining duty.
3. You may think you can tolerate anything to be with your new love, but don't be naïve and underestimate the affect of living with somebody else's kids. Bliss wears off and reality settles in fairly quickly, like when your newly acquired children blast their CD players at 5 a.m., endlessly watch television or have table manners unfit for the animal kingdom.
4. Regarding children, you need to resolve all potential conflicts and know each other's expectations before taking a major step like moving in together or getting married. Have a written agreement.
5. You have to be prepared to give up luxuries like sleeping in late, spur-of-the-moment intimacy and those romantic getaways you envisioned on the night you met.
6. There will be extra demands on your time. You may need to pick up a teenager from the high school dance or coach a Little League team. To some extent, you'll sacrifice your freedom for your mate's family.
7. You must learn how to deal with the kids. Burl Estes, 59, of Mission, Viejo, Calif., explains how he handles his girlfriend's 13- and 17-year-olds: "I tell them, 'If you don't stop that behavior, we'll bond and become friends.' It works like magic."
Whether a dating couple can function happily and still juggle the kids depends on a number of factors, with each person's patience and understanding being the most important. Perhaps the payoff comes after the kids leave the roost -- when the couple can give their full attention to each other.
That is, if they're still speaking. It takes a special pair to ride out the "children years" together, and emerge as a happy, successful couple. But it can be done.
Tom Blake is the author of Finding Love After 50. How to Begin. Where to Go. What to Do.
You're confident the kids won't be a problem, but what should you be aware of if you're going to get serious? Here, we've outlined seven kid-centric tips to keep in mind.
1. Children living at home need to be top priority. Insisting on being the center of attention is a no-no and few parents will displace the lives of their children for a new love. Remember the old adage "Blood is thicker than water?" In this case, it's oh-so true.
David Silver, a single father from Elberon, N.J., explained why a four-year relationship with a woman ended: "I offered her a place of equal importance with my children -- everybody gets to be number one -- but that wasn't good enough, and it began to get in the way."
2. Children may be resentful of anybody who enters their single parent's life. Be prepared to hear, "You aren't my mom," particularly if you've got disciplining duty.
3. You may think you can tolerate anything to be with your new love, but don't be naïve and underestimate the affect of living with somebody else's kids. Bliss wears off and reality settles in fairly quickly, like when your newly acquired children blast their CD players at 5 a.m., endlessly watch television or have table manners unfit for the animal kingdom.
4. Regarding children, you need to resolve all potential conflicts and know each other's expectations before taking a major step like moving in together or getting married. Have a written agreement.
5. You have to be prepared to give up luxuries like sleeping in late, spur-of-the-moment intimacy and those romantic getaways you envisioned on the night you met.
6. There will be extra demands on your time. You may need to pick up a teenager from the high school dance or coach a Little League team. To some extent, you'll sacrifice your freedom for your mate's family.
7. You must learn how to deal with the kids. Burl Estes, 59, of Mission, Viejo, Calif., explains how he handles his girlfriend's 13- and 17-year-olds: "I tell them, 'If you don't stop that behavior, we'll bond and become friends.' It works like magic."
Whether a dating couple can function happily and still juggle the kids depends on a number of factors, with each person's patience and understanding being the most important. Perhaps the payoff comes after the kids leave the roost -- when the couple can give their full attention to each other.
That is, if they're still speaking. It takes a special pair to ride out the "children years" together, and emerge as a happy, successful couple. But it can be done.
Tom Blake is the author of Finding Love After 50. How to Begin. Where to Go. What to Do.
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