Getting back into the dating scene, after years of being out of it, can be scary. Let’s face it: We’re all told so often how great it is to be young that we feel much less self-confident because we’re older! But don’t believe the hype. Boomer women make great partners. You’ve got perspective, the wisdom to know that not every detail is a life or death affair. And the richness of your experience over the years makes you more appealing.
A lot of guys like that. They’re tired of working at absolutely every area in their lives and are very attracted to women who are their equals, women with ideas and multiple topics who are capable of taking initiative and being adventurous. For baby boomers, who may be slowing down professionally or retiring, this is especially true.
So how can you show prospective mates the intriguing woman you are? Here are some simple tips for making your dating life a peak experience:
Weed The Garden -- Don't keep dating anyone who doesn't help you feel good about yourself. There are better men out there, and hanging on to deadwood just gets depressing.
Stop Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places – Give up anything you've been trying for more than three months (except for online dating) with no return. Repeating the same old thing hoping for a new outcome is one definition of crazy.
Get Out And Circulate - Prince Charming doesn't make house calls. To have a dating life, you need a life. Go out a few nights a week to places where you can expand your social network. Put the same initiative into finding a guy that you would put into finding a job. Know what you want, believe you deserve it, and be diligent in putting in the time. As Woody Allen once said, “Eighty percent of success is showing up.”
Flaunt It – Don’t hide your best assets. If you love physical activity, go to the beach, the gym, or the slopes. If you have a keen intellect and keep up with current affairs, join a trivia team, take a political affairs class, and volunteer for campaigns. If you have a fabulous home, invite people over, and give a “share the wealth party” where your friends bring a guy they like but aren’t interested in romantically.
Learn The Silent Language - Make lingering eye contact with any man you might be interested in meeting. Then look away and glance back again with a quick smile. Remember the lingering part. Count to ten. Women will glance and think they've communicated interest when in fact their eye contact was so brief, he will be positive he's just been rejected. If you’re at a bar, face into the room, not away from it. Uncross your arms. Add a head tilt and it's an invitation.
Date Dress All The Time – Yes, even when you’re going to the supermarket. You never know who’ll be there, and besides, dressing well makes you feel great about yourself.
Fake It Till You Make It – Work on self-improvement and expanding your spirituality, education, and health, but don't wait to be perfect. There’s no time like now to start looking!
© 2012 Janet Blair Page, Ph.D.
Janet Blair Page, Ph.D., author of "Get Married This Year: 365 Days to "I Do," is a psychotherapist with more than thirty years of experience in private practice in New York and Atlanta. She taught at Emory University and has been in the New York Times, Glamour and on CNN, FOX, Good Morning America, and The Early Show. She lives in Atlanta, Georgia.
