CUAO Workshop

A weight loss ring? Interesting. I think I've heard of that brush before.

I am going to turn 32 in about 2 weeks! Weird that I'm finding all of these people now who are about 31-32. It's good though! I didn't think there were any around here!

BTW: I think hair loss can be caused by stress. I had a time when my weight went way up fast and then came down really quickly. I lost more hair then but now I don't lose as much when I don't drink that much pop and I'm not stressed. I think it's related to lifestyle and exercise.

there's also this laser brush that can also help your hair grow you can find it at http://www.amerimark.com under healthy living I'm getting that brush as well but it cost $49.99 plus shipping it's suppose to help your hair grow faster. I have always wanted longer hair i figure it would make me look closer to my age (32) i look very young for my age which is a goood thing but it can keep men from dating you sometimes I think that's what's happening with me but i'm not obese.

Under healthy living they also have this weight loss ring and other products that can help.

Thanks LadyX2K2!!

I will do that. I've been starring at the women's rogaine at CVS for a while so I think I will try it.

My hair on the crown is thinning. I can cover it but I could be better.

Some CUAO Things I will be doing this summer:

Losing this extra freakin' 25 pounds I gained! (this weight loss would make me bikini hot!)

Getting my teeth cleaned and then whitened.

Poss doing a gyno visit (But i'm not having sex so I'mnot sure about that)

Buying new clothes when I get to said weight...

Planning out how to eat for my body type (healthy, lots of protein, etc.)

Poss taking martial arts or getting more into yoga

Developing female friendships even further

Poss hair highlights....

Massages every month

Mani/pedi once in a while (salon) or at home often.

Writing in my journal

Starting that Masters degree in writing (yeah!)

Being a freelance writer (my joy)

Becoming the best teacher I can be! (prof. development)

Making lost of professinal contcts

Paying of lots of bills.

Meditating often

Doing affirmations.

Getting 8 hours of sleep every night

Drinking lost of water and no pop! (seriously bad habit)

Setting more goals

BrownEyes-

It does work for thinning spots but if you are scared of the face thing i would just use the women's formula the generic is 19.95 and you can get it at rite aid walgreens cvs and other drugstores

men's rogain with 5 percent minoxidil grows your hair faster but you have to be careful not to get the solution on your face.

Yikes! Not sure if I want to try that. However, some parts of my hair are a bit sparse.I wonder if that would work for some thinning spots?

That face thing is scary though...

manicures, pedicures or a new hairstyle or if you hair is short try to grow it longer. I discovered this by accident but the men's rogain with 5 percent minoxidil grows your hair faster but you have to be careful not to get the solution on your face.

There's this grat catalog called Metrostyle and they also have a website by that name that has some sexy clothes you could try.

Hello,

I'm new to this forum and newish to TRs (have been actively reading and ignoring them for 6 months! but now trying to keep to them)... anyway...

I'm really interested in knowing what beauty regimes you follow, and what pampering you do.

I'm always classed as cute by people (men inc) which isn't a bad thing, but i'd like to be a bit sexier, so any tips regarding that would be great too.. or do you think its better to be cute as a RG?

Thanks Kim.

Thought I'd post this here but I just feel shit recently. Just down, ugly, unnatractive, despite makeup and nice clothes. All I'm attracting is flaky men. Joined OLD and - so far a few "want to chat", I haven't even bothered to answer them.
Few guys at the church meeting, I thought were stepping up to the plate have stepped off and dissapeared, so dissapointing. I just can't meet anyone decent and haven't done in 2.5 years. Few scatterd dates with men who were just not my type at all (duty dating). I keep alternating between crying and getting angry for no reason wtf is wrong with me.
Sorry to go on but I just seem to get to feeling any better.

I know the type, I had a gf last year who I stopped bothering with. She was always 30 minutes late, with no apology just like you were luck she showed up. Then wouldn't committ to any plans till the last minute cause she had things to sort out - like I didn't. What she really meant was was this bloke gonna turn up at door. Her loss.

There used to be another Rules message board a long time ago, what happened to that one?

Anyway, what really prompted me to post is that I ended a couple of female friendships where I felt they were rude to me. They were both late last year. I just realized that to put up with people treating me the way that they did was ridiculous. They acted like they were the most important thing in the world and if you didn't act that way you had a problem. I don't miss either one of them, suprise suprise.

Helllo ladies. Me too run in with a friend. We were supposed to go to cinema so I bought in some food for a meal etc and she cancels this afternoon, just a text saying she had trouble with her son.
I've texted back saying ok but I would have liked a bit more notice as I had made arrangements.. And told her to forward her holiday room deposit to me in case she had to cancel her holiday as well.
I sound harsh if it was her son (he is a grown man) but just a lamo text message at the last minute. We made some loose plans for a day out a a few weeks ago, then got a message from her on the day "Out in suchTown, Mr S invited me". So maybe she was having trouble with son or Mr S made another appearance - I shouldn't jump to conclusions but well I suppose if she is unreliable it will show soon enough. Annoyed

I just love what you said on Salon about "vibrational alignment". I think it is SO TRUE that we find the things that match our vibrational alignment. And we don't really notice this until we change our VB....THEN the changes start to become apparrent.

I have been confident in my decision to dump that female friend I have been talking about. Well, I dind't dump her relaly. I just "faded away".....bye.........by...b....*

I have also been pracitcing affirmations with vigor lately and they have really made a difference! Plus, this weekend, I am meeting some lovely ladies who practice higher vibrational thinking as well.

This has made me feel more CUAO than anything lately. I can literally feel life getting better!

Now, my next challenge is my job and what I need to change. That's the hard part.

You go! Good for you girl! Your vibrational alignment must be really high. And I can almost bet money that you did your time, learning about how it felt to not be so happy and choosing a differnet route.

Rock on!

My life seems to have done a complete 180:

-I dyed my hair a deep, rich brown with red highlights. I have ice blue eyes and it looks great! (been a blonde for at least a decade)

-I am in a job I absolutely love and am passionate about. The job may even lead to me running for office one day.

-I actually have more than one man in my life that is also a catch! Can't quite explain how this happened other than I am pursuing something greater than myself and it draws people in.

-ACK! I went out on a date last Friday with this gorgeous engineer (graduated from MIT) and he was completely respectful. Absolutely amazing. I felt like I deserved this for the first time in my life.

-I'm going to lunch with a former colleague on Monday who is also gorgeous. He chased me down?!

I haven't been really paying attention to doing the rules lately, I just have been nice and focused on my work. Seems I have some good karma coming back around or something.

It is amazing isn't it.

i "f**k you" attitude.

This is exactly what my BIL said about me.

I wonder how many of us end up behaving this way because this is how we interpret the rules. The books do not go into the importance of being warm and friendly enough!!

Wow. You have lots going on. But, it all sounds good.

I am very happy for you about your new house.

Northernstar you could have told my story.
I too got a bad attitude when I first started with TR Someone said it was like I had "f**k you" attitude. Anyway 7 years and 1 bad marriage on, here I am. I do make an effort to be more friendly with people but still I am a little reserved.
I'm also struggling with friends at the moment. I have had to walk away from some who I just felt were using me for car rides, convenience etc. I don't know, strange really.
I don't feel very cuao at the moment, been busy with my house move, studies and thinking about setting up a small business (so not sure). Busy, not busy, cuaoish, notcuaoish, feeling good, feeling bad, going out a lot, staying in a lot. Nobody asks me out.
Just the date last week, first one in months, not my type really. Just duty dating. Apart from that life's good. Love my new house.

Years ago I worked in an office with mostly men.

One day on my lunch hour I went shoppping and bought myself some pjs at a very nice lingerie shop. It was in the dead of winter and I bought some baggy flannel pjs.

The clerk wrapped them up nicely and placed them in the shop's bag with lots of ribbon. The name of the shop was quite prominent on the bag and it is a well known lingerie shop.

When I returned back to my office one of my colleagues and a fellow who dropped by our office asked me what was in the bag....

I started to laugh and said:

"I'll never tell."

They went crazy. They kept asking me: "What is it?" "Is it sexy?"

I just continued to laugh and ignore then. I said:

"of course it is sexy."

They kept bugging me...

I looked at them and said:

"You boys are so noisy!!"

Then I left the room.

Well, they went on about this for days. I ran into the guy who had dropped by the office a few days later. He asked me about it again and asked me who I was seeing. I just smiled.

So imagine the response I would have received if I told them the truth and said:

"Oh, I just bought some baggy flannel pjs."

That would have been the end of the conversation.

How to develop the sensual and saucy attitude.

Have a role model. I mentioned who mine are. You certainly don't want to be thinking Paris Hilton or Britney Spears, but think about who you admire, someone that you think is a CUAO and has a great attitude.

b Always think to yourself SENSUAL AND SAUCY...

Painting your toe nails pink is what it is all about. Think femmy,femmy, femmy!!! I am serious about the pampering. Since I have been going regularly for these things, I have found that I am more drawn to femmy and flirty clothes, which is so wild, because I am a tomboy at heart!!!

Now, I buy fitting tops, wear more skirts, jewelery. Nothing flashy and all sublte, but I am telling you, what a difference it has made to how I feel about myself and how the world has responded to me.

I have tried to incorporate this attitude into my home as well. I recently bought myself Egyptian cotton sheets. I waited until they were on sale!! I feel like I am sleeping in silk. So lovely. I have put things in my home that make me feel good. I have more candles, I buy flowers, burn incense. I have much less clutter etc.

b Now for the sauciness.
I can't think of any books with the exception of Why Men Love Bitches. Have you read it? It is fabulous. Very funny and illustrates the saucy attitude very well.

I love, love, love what your doctor said:

b "Its a Secret!!!"

I am going to use this line. It is great. Other standard ones:

b "Maybe."

b "I'll never tell."

b "Wouldn't you like to know."

b "Oh my, aren't you the curious one!"

b "You are so naughty."

The Lili files are also great. I read them every few months to get me into the mode.

Other things that have helped....

I meditate everyday. Raises my vibration...I am much happier. I write in my gratitude journal everyday. I do yoga, work out, go for hikes....all things that I love and have made me feel much happier.

These things have made dating so much more fun and have allowed me to not take it all so seriously. Not to say that I don't still pbt, but it much less.

More CUAO stuff....

I have known about the rules for 10 years. Hard to believe. I am still learning so much!!

It took a few years for me to really incorporate the rules in terms of calls, pursuing etc. But, I know that stuff really well now.

The area where I was really messing up was with my attitude. I interrupted the rules to mean that I had to be aloof, which in some ways is true, but I took it to the extreme.

I was walking around like a big snob, not saying hello or acknowledging anyone. I had no idea I was doing this until the summer of 2006.

I went to Europe for a week with my entire family. I spent lots of time with my newphy and BIL. One day I was at a cafe with them (my sister was shopping somewhere) and they had a serious talk with me.

They told me that they loved me and that they thought I was great, but they could completely understand why I didn't have a man in my life. They both told me that I had a wall around me and put off a vibe of being very cold and to not approach, even though they know that it is not my nature.

I was absolutely stunned and in shock. I was not hurt though, I was so grateful that they told me this, because I really not no idea. Talk about being clueless.

My BIL told me that he even feels it when he hugs me. He told me that he feels a coldness and hesitation from me!!

So when I returned home I really thought about what they said and decided to make some changes.

Walking around like a snob is not me at all. I am a very friendly and warm person!!! WTF was I doing???

Since then I have tried to be myself, still rulesy, but making sure the essence of who I am was evident. I started being friendlier, chatting to everyone, even initiating conversations.

What a difference it has made. There are people that I have known for years and have never had a a conversation with! I was missing out on so much.

My BIL was here at X-mas. My sister was here last week taking care of my and she told me that he noticed a huge difference in me at X-mas.

I have heard of other RGs making this mistake as well....thinking that the rules meant that you had to be cold and aloof. So not!!!

More stuff on next post...........

Your welcome.

Just want to hear from others what they think about knowing how to tell if your man loves you from the heart, are there signs to look out for, I know you should trust your instincts but is there also some things to look out for.

Hi, I am a single mum too. My girls are 9 and 11 so am tied to the house in the evening too.

However, during the day I rarely answer my phone and my bf thinks that I am busy galavanting around with my other mummy friends. I do make a point of seeing my friends while the girls are at school but most of my time is taken with housework and mummy things too.

Could you set yourself a day to go out and do something just for you, like coffee with friends, a walk in the park, go to the gym ... anything. If your children are still little then you could plan a little outing once a week - feeding the duck, collecting shells on the beach, a picnic (you can do this indoors if it is too cold to go outside, visit the zoo, visit a pony santuary... anything as long as it is a break from routine. Then you will feel more interesting and the funny thing is your bf doesn't need to know about it to feel the energy change in you!

btw, he is dating you because he wants to date YOU, not some action girl!

I wish there was a rules book for mom issues.
Like how do a act mysterious when he knows that i am home every evening with my children??
How is he supposed to chatch me comming and going when i am always here?? Yes i am busy, but not with anything interesting or exciting... mostly housework and kid stuff..
i am afraid my BF could be getting bored...
I find that My life can be pretty routine and boring...yet o so busy!
I would like to shake things up a bit and add some intrigue. We have been dating exclusively sence october.
I would appreciate any feedback.

I really admire what you did. A lot of people would have thrown in the towel and filed for bankruptcy.

. I took the $1000 that I made from my part-time job and put it on my card. Paying off the next $3000 is a priority and it should be done my April.

b Attitude of gratitude:

I write in a gratitude journal each day. I write about 5-10 things that I am grateful for. I also write a little list of evidence of abundance. If you look for it, it is everywhere. For example, at work, I get free coffee, milk, sugar, juice, water, parking, photocopying, dental and health care etcc. I will write down if someone bought me lunch or a coffee, or if I scored free parking.

I have more stuff, but this it getting too long. I hope it helps.

b Reality check:
Years ago I had serious debt. It was so bad that I was getting cash advances from my credit card. I could barely make minimum payments on my cards. There were many bills that I could not pay. Everything was a mess and in complete chaos. I had no idea what I owed to who and when bills were due.

The first thing I did (which was the hardest) was to sit down and figure out my entire financial situation. What money was coming in? What money was going out? How much did I owe etc.. It was a very depressing process and when I was finished I had a total meltdown and was depressed for days. However, it was so critical because the only way I could fix the problem was to stop walking around in a daze and face the music.

b Figure out where the money is going

The next thing I did was to keep track of where my money was going. This was a very tedious and boring process, but again critical. I did this for 2 months. I carried a little notebook with me and wrote done what I spent my money on. What an eye opener. I had no idea (I cannot believe that I was that out of touch) where my money was going. I discovered that my biggest expense was eating out. I had a routine where I would buy a latte and a toasted bagel every morning. That cost around $6. Then I would buy my lunch, $7-$10, and quite often I would get take out for my daughter and I because I did not feel like cooking, anywhere from $20-$30. So each day I was spending $32-$42 a day on take out. That works out to (if I take $32) , to $960 per month, $11, 520 per year.

During all of this I was also buying groceries, but they would just go bad in the fridge because I never did anything with them.

When I realized this, I stopped the take out immediately. I had to get really organized. Make a shopping list, plan meals, cook ahead, pack lunches etch. I started this a few years ago and it really paid off. Now I rarely eat out. My dinners out are paid for by my dates. Maybe once a month I may take my daughter out for brunch or dinner, but that is it. I drink my coffee at home or work, maybe once I month we will go to Starbucks for a treat. Each Sunday morning I buy groceries for the week. It takes me a few hours to prepare food for the week. I will make a couple of big salads, a lasagne etc., so there is always something to eat so we have no need for take out.

At that time I also had 100’s of dollars in parking tickets. I cleaned all of that up. I rarely get tickets now, but when I do I pay them right away, that way I avoid the ticket going into default and costing me twice as much as the original ticket.

I set up all of my bills, every single one of them on pay direct from my chequeing account. I rarely write cheques. This way I never miss paying a bill so my credit stays intact. I know what I pay when.

b Others things I did:

When I bought a house, I bought one with a basement apt. I rent it out and receive $700 per month. This is my essential money for the month. This pays for food, gas, entertainment and gifts.

I have a part time job. It is great, because I can pick up shifts when I feel like it. I made an extra $1000 over the X-mas holidays.

b How the LOA helped

After seeing The Secret and reading lots of LOA books, I realized how stressed I was about money and how my thoughts were consumed with the thoughts of debt. I worked really hard at switching my focus. I set up a debt repayment plan and spent little time thinking about it. I switched my focus to abundance and focusing on the things that I want. If your primary focus is on the debt, you will create more debt.

I am very concerned about the environment and fortunately, lots of little things that you do that are good for the environment will also save you money. We are very careful with our use of hydro. We have the environmentally friendly light bulbs, which in the long run will save you money. We have a programmed thermostat, which saves on hearting bills. We make sure we turn out the lights when not in use etcc.

If I need something, I wait until I have the money to pay for it and look around for deals. For the longest time I wanted a new dining room set. We had a terrible mismatched table and chairs. It was really ugly. I put it out to the universe what I wanted. It took a few months, but one day I saw a dining room set that was in the furniture store next to my office. It was beautiful. Lovely table, 6 chairs, beautiful buffet and hutch, for $1400. Shocking, but true.

I wanted new appliances for my kitchen. I shopped for a few months and then I saw this big sale. I bought a new fridge, stove, dishwasher, microwave, all stainless steel for $2200. I later received a $500 rebate because the appliances were delivered weeks after they were supposed to be. So I ended up paying $1800. Sweet.

It is important to not have the attitude that “I cannot afford that.” You do not want to be in the mindset of lack. You want to be thinking abundance.

I have the attitude when looking for bargains that it will give me more money to go on vacation, pay for my daughter’s education, and pay off my mortgage.

I have lots of potluck dinner parties, brunches with friends. They are great fun and you don’t have to spend a fortune.

The whole process took time and I had to take baby steps. I am still learning. If it was perfect, I would not need to work part-time etc.., but I am getting there. I have my moments when something unexpected happens. I have learned to pay very little attention to those moments, Put together a plan to deal with it, and then ignore it.

I wrote out my financial plans for the year. Pay an extra $5000 on my mortgage; put away another $5000 for my daughter’s education.

I had to use my credit card before the holidays for house purchases for my kitchen renovation. The bill came to $4000.

I responded to you on Salon.

I just had an interesting D1 with a lobster tonight.

In a nutshell, he met some of, and fell short of, things on my Husband Sun chart that I made a few weeks ago. (Please don't judge my HS criteria, please just give feedback on what this all means.)

Here are the things that didn't fit my HS:

1. Works out regularly (his speaks inconsistently of this. on D0 he said he worked out all the time but tonight he said there are whole weeks he can't get to the gym)

2. Dresses becomingly (his clothes were clean and presentable, but I think he dresses too causually for D0/D1)(he wore a sweatshirt and jeans and sneakers both times)

3. Is respectful of my time (he kept repeating how we should be seeing more of each other, seemed annoyed that he had to wait over a week to see me next. repeatedly suggested i tell work that i need both weekend days off so he can take me on a weekend trip in the next few weeks.)(don't worry, I have no plans to do that, it is way too soon and I'm not even sure how much I like him, besides the fact that it's not TR)

4. Deeply respects all women, including me (he got way too frisky at the end of the date. and too clingy. quite frankly, it creeped me out a little bit.)(in my gut that was a really big red flag. I had to say, "OK, that's enough" after he tried to cram his tongue into my mouth, then grabbed onto the back of my head when I tried to pull away. he then apologized if he made me feel uncomfortable about three times as I was leaving.)(before the tongue cram/that's enough moment, he gave me a goodnight hug for the second time, and this time put his head at the base of my neck/the top of my chest, like I was his mom or something. I remember looking over the top of his head and thinking, "O-kaaaay. This is really weird." )I thought his rather forward behavior was disrespectful/wasn't cherishing my feelings, but I might be too strict on this.

I need some feedback, ladies.

I will post this elsewhere.

Thanks,

-RedLvsTR

Thanks, Emily. I am researching it right now. :-)

Anyone else have an opinion or recommendation?

Hello Ladies,

In line with the 'gratitude journal' and the "Law of Attraction", here are my thought for today. This is what I wrote:

1)I got some binding done at Kinkos for free because the manager was nice enough to acknowledge they were a little slow with my order.I was grateful due to my monetary problems.

2)Three weeks ago, a man I remember vaguely from college saw me and said, "hi", and smiled at me.

3)Cars let me go in front of them even though traffic was heavy and it was rush hour.

4)I recall about 2 months ago, a man was very helpful to me in an AmPm when I got lost. He looked up precise directions on his iPhone foor me.

5)I went to my old place of work, and people still remember me avidly and were excited to see me.

6)I recieved a business card from a woman and explicit instructions on how to turn in a portfolio via the Internet. She told me she would be hiring in March. : D

7)This might seem a little strange, but the fact that I feel emotionally drained from the past few weeks with a possible non-contender has made me bolder to walk into new places to drop off my portfolio. I just don't care.

8)I am also grateful that 'Cat' came into my life right after I dumped another man right before. He said that I didn't seem to want to spend time with him all the time, so I must not be that interested and that we needed to talk (this is only after 7 dates!!). After that, I thought, gee, I guess I was doing TR way to hard. So, when 'Cat' happened along, I realized that this is far from the case, and that non-contender #1 was blaming me for his non-pursuit... I have also become much firmer with TR than before 'Cat' came, so I am sure it will help me in the long run.

9)Since 'Cat' has a lot of redeeming qualities, I'm coming to the conclusion that I am getting close to the One.

So this is my first dialogue of gratitude.

Thank you Ladies for listening. I love writing and reading these posts.

-Emily

Has anyone tried any of the teeth whitening products? Recommendations?

Thanks for the link for the affirmations.

That is great that things turned around for your kids.

An attitude of gratitude is definitely the way to go, especially during the tough times.

I have read the Four Agreements. What a fantastic book.

b "Don’t take anything personally."

This is so powerful. How much time and energy do we waste wondering what people think about us. Who cares?

I have to go and find my book, because I know want to read it again.

While we are talking aobut the Law of Attraction and other spiritually enhancing literature, I must tell you about a book Salsaman gave me called 'The four agreements'. It is so simple but so life changing. I referred to it in the above post to Red but the basic message is:

b The four agreements

i Be impeccable with your word
Speak with integrity, say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love

i Don’t take anything personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others do and say is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be a victim of needless suffering.

i Don’t make assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness or drama. With just this one agreement you can completely transform your life.

i Always do your best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment, it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance simply do you best and you will avoid self judgement, self abuse and regret.

b The Law of Attraction

Have you seen this website? If you are having difficulty getting started with the positive affirmations, you can sign up here and they well send you one a day to help.

http://healing.about.com/library/aff/bl_aff_random.htm#

A gratitude diary is a fantastic thing - it totally rewires the way you look at life. I get my children to tell me five things that made them smile each day. When they were in their old school and being bullied terribly it was hard for them but managed it in the end and my doom and gloom youngest is now becoming a sunshine child

:-D

Hello Everyone,

I am allergic to most earrings except for sterling silver, 24 k.gold, and Platinum kinds.
However, it seems like all the funkier earrings have nickel in them.
I've heard of putting clear nail polish on the part you insert in your ear to prevent an allergic reaction, but I'm not sure about this.
Does anyone else have this problem? If so, what do you do?
I'm thinking that there might be a web site of some kind where people can maybe order sterling silver earring hooks?

Thanks Ladies.

-Emily