help asap please

um, sounds like meal time and not life time.............move on to your life and stop circling his. You deserve it.

I would start to see much, MUCH less of this man.

If you want to be married someday and he says "marriage is stupid", then he is not a good match for you at all.

If you are exclusive with him, then tell him that someday you wish to be married and then become unexclusive with him. i.e. Date others.

Hello,
How are you? I saw your profile today at http:(www.thirdage.com)and feel like contacting you.I feel we may become matches(liliankuru@yahoo.com) is my contact. Kindly make a contact if you are interested, so that i can send you my picture for you to know who iam meanwhile my name is Lilian. I will appreciate it if you give a good responds.Thanks and remain blessed.
(Remember the distance,color or age does not matter but love matters alot in life)

Men can diss it out but not take it and if you were to give him a dose of his own medicine, he'd end up missing the point and resenting you for it.

Men don't relate well to our dramas or indirectedness and long windedness.

My advice: Cut to the chase and tell him point blank "My feelings are valid and I'm worthy of respect. I will not tolerate behavior that I believe to be disrespectful anymore, and its not up to you to decide what I should take." If you keep accepting dinners, money, etc., you're allowing him to put your respect on layaway.

Your guy sounds very immature.

If you feel that you are not ready to dump him, I would pull back from him big time.

This guy needs a shake down!!!!

Make sure you pull back in a very light and breezy way. Get busy with your friends.

I would go beyond bootcamp. In fact I would not see him for the next 2 weeks. Just keep saying:

"Oh I would love to but I have other plans." "That is so sweet, but I am busy."

When you do see him or talk to him drop the names of some guys. Give him a taste of his own medicine. This must be done in a very subtle way like:

"The guy sitting next to me at work is so nice, he always helps me when I am having problems with my computer. "

"My neighbour helped me carry all of these boxes."

"I have a new co-worker, we had lunch the other day, he seems like a good guy, I am sure he will be an asset to the company."

You get the idea.

When he talks about other women I would not say a thing. NOTHNG, NOTTA!!!! I would not give him any attitude either. Yawn, look at your nails, look through your purse, get up and walk around.

If he keeps it up I would end the date. "Oh dear, look at the time. I am kinda tired and need to get to bed early. Thanks for the lovely date!"

Actions is the language men understand. Not words. No point in talking to him about it, it would be a mistake.

Next time he says that he thinks marriage is stupid look him straight in the eye and say "You are absolutely right." Then get up and walk around. This will freak him out.

He sounds too cocky and a little too sure of himself and you. He thinks he has you. No man should ever think that he has you unless you are married to him. Some doubt will do him some good.

Try it as an experiment and see what happens. Sometimes guys just do stupid things to get a reaction or they are just clueless. If you do these things he will figure out that you have very high self esteem and will not put up with much. His respect will increase.

If your actions have no impact on him, I would consider moving on because this would show that he is an extremely disrepectful guy.

Seriously, I think you are wasting your time on this man. Any man who feels it necessary to talk about other women in your presence doesn't respect you or your feelings. Obviously by continually bringing up other women he's trying to get a reaction out of you and others. What would be the purpose?

I also think it is an issue that you shouldn't ignore. A good relationship involves communication. If something he is doing irritates you, you should tell him so that he has the opportunity to understand your feelings and stop his behavior.

His comment about marriage indicates he is immature. As marriage is an important aspect of everyone's lives, it also requires communication and discussion with your boyfriend. What happens if you fall in love with him and he thinks marriage is stupid? You will be wasting your time and will be hurt in the end.

Talk to him. Perhaps the issue can be resolved. If he refuses to talk seriously about it, then my suggestion is to end the relationship.

Just agree with the turkey and he will knock it off, as far as the "others". Why is it they are "bait"? You are the catch. Act like it. As for marriage being stupid, it is not, that is stupid remark. Marriage is for many reasons and stupid is not one of them. He evidently has issues he has not been able to talk to you about. Go to website www.christiancarter.com and you can find many ways to help him overcome his fear. If he continues to be a horses ass, then do yourself a favor and find yourself someone worthy of your time and attention.

I dated a guy like that for awhile, was so in love with him, and he professed to love me.
I finally had enough of all he was doing and recognized it as a form of abuse. I now have a husband that I met online, and he always puts me first, would never even consider telling me that kind of garbage, and always knew he wanted to get married. Believe the guy when he says marriage is stupid, and run as far as you can from him. You are worth so much more than that!!

Hi everyone,
Thank you for your opinions. I really appreciate them!

He would like you to believe he's 'just' teasing you when he talks about other women, however, it is well known that 'teasing' is not meant nicely. And in my book anyone who would tease you that way consistently is not worth staying with. He's having fun at your expense and absolutely not in a nice way. Most often that is how many men start to work their way into your self confidence and before long you don't trust your own opinions on things because he makes fun of them. You really don't need someone who doesn't think more of you than to do that to you, lady.

As for his not wanting to get married...believe him! He might again say he's joking at times, however, that has not been proven to be true the majority of the time. So many women believe that they can be the magic one who will change a special guy's mind and it doesn't work out that way the majority of times. So often they wind up with a miserable marriage where the wife is constantly being put down because she forced the issue and then...again...she loses her self esteem and doubts herself.

It's not an easy thing to do, however, I definitely would work at walking away from him...and stay away from him even when he comes back and says he was just kidding you. He wasn't kidding and he wants to hang onto you because he can. That's power in his small mind.

And for those who would like to claim that I personally believe all men are like that...nope, not true. There are many really good men out there and many who do want marriage in the long run. It's not easy to weed them out yet that is the only way to find that great one for you...and that you are great for him and he recognizes that also.

Hang in there, lady. It isn't worse to be alone because you can find that you are worse than miserable with him and once you get past your belief that you HAVE to stay with him, you can find that you enjoy your life so much more without him.

Good luck.

LoisAnn :o)

Do you really want to be dating a man who thinks marriage is stupid? How important is marriage to you?

I firmly believe in listening and taking what a man says at face value - if he says marriage he thinks is stupid, believe him! If you want to get married then don't waste your precious time with him, move on!

I know this sounds harsh but it works well for you - if he is really putting on an act, he will drop it to keep you, if he means it you have a lucky escape and free yourself to find someone who will love you and do anything to marry you.

As for talking about the hot women he is meeting, raise an eyebrow, yawn and walk away and get busy! You don't need to put up with anything that is irritating you. Alternatively you could just plainly state 'I don't appreciate that' or 'how rude' then change the subject.

Find loads of things to do that you really enjoy doing, then he won't be so important. L&B and busy, busy busy!

oh, he is really testing you right?!

this is silly guy nonsense, but rules girls are too usy and happy being a creature unlike any other to put up with this kinda boring guy stuff.

when he starts up just yawn, walk away, act bored, change the subject, just ignore it. if he doesn't change then maybe he's not your dream guy?

in the book it says let him do whatever he likes, join a gym packed with hot women, whatever, rules girls don't get jealous, they only date guys who love them

it's in Rule 16 - Don't Tell Him What To Do.

Elys x

The guy is clearly trying to demean and belittle you, taking advantage of your love for him in the belief that no matter what he does you will still be there for him.
My advice would be to take back your self -respect by ditching him before it's too late.