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How soon is to soon after spouse leaves to date?

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By Jules
Jules's picture
Posted 6/3/09 10:00 PM

How soon is to soon after spouse leaves to date?

My husband left me 3 months ago afer a year of unpleasentness.  Recently someone I dated briefly before about the same time I met my husband called out of the blue.  WE have been talking and have had drinks together.  The connection is still there from before...I just don't know if there is a certain amount of time I should wait before exploring this further. There is no chance that my husband and I will ever reconnect to much has happened and I am not interested in that.

 

thanks

By etta
etta's picture
Posted 07/27/09 11:25 AM

Dating after your spouse

Dating after your spouse leaves might be a legal question so ask your attorney. Mine advised me not to date until the divorce was final otherwise there might be problems with settlements.

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By welshlion
welshlion's picture
Posted 07/01/09 3:55 PM

It's never too soon,

You gave up part of your life to build a relationship, unfortunately it didn't work out, so put it behind you and start living again. A note of caution though, whilst dating is fine any time do not get intimate until you're really sure it is what you want and not something you're doing just for the hell of it.
Good luck and I hope you find happiness real soon.

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By smate4u
smate4u's picture
Posted 06/23/09 3:08 PM

Having been there.....

Having been there, I recommend enought time before dating to heal the hurt beneath - to eliminate the "rebound effect" one should refrain from dating until there is confidence of being able to give freely to the relationship, without remorse or looking back. The relationship is owed that in order to nourish.

That period does vary from individual to individual.

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By starrynight1
starrynight1's picture
Posted 06/06/09 8:12 AM

I would answer that the

I would answer that the length of time varies for each person. In my case, I waited a year before I began dating.

This gave me considerable time to think about where I had been in life, what I had done right as well as mistakes I had made. Rather than dwelling on my ex and/or his misdeeds, I chose to work on being the best person I could possibly be (there's always room for improvement since none of us is perfect). I also gave thoughtful consideration to the qualities I wanted to find in the men I would be dating. Knowing myself and what I seek makes dating a lot of fun and eliminates wasted time for me and "him!"

So... what's the right amount of time? Only you can make that decision. Wishing you the best!

S

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