TR Europe

Hello :-)

I'm glad to know there are some rules girls in the UK.

I live in London, although am relocating soon but still will be working here.

Elysiaur, it's going good thanks, how about you? :-)

Great to meet you all!

Orchid

Hi Orchid,
I'm in the UK, in London.
How's it going?
E

I seem to remember on the boards a few years ago, there was a support group in London mentioned but I have not heard of anything recently.
b Miss Adelaide
is a married RG from UK who used to post here - you could search her posts.

I live just over an hour out of London.

Hi Butterfly,

There is no support group in London that i know of....

I'm from Scotland....There are a few women from the UK who post over on Bootcamp and Salon if you want to hook up or ask for advise or support.

Dawnie

Hi ladies,

I was wondering, are any of you from the UK?

I think I remember a few years back that there was a support group in London?

Thanks,

Orchid

Gifts for Christmas

Does anyone has ideas for gifts for Christmas? For married wifes when doing the Rules.

Any ideas are highly appreciated. I once wanted to give my husband a pen with his name engraved. Even though I'm married Sherrie and Ellen did advice not to do it. Engraving is too much an effort. Even for a husband. They said it can even be something expensive like a leather jacket or a watch. But not something like taking him away for a few days.

And not too many gifts as well. One is sufficient.

The problem is that I have no idea at the moment. My husband has a lot of clothes, he buys them himself. He has also enough cosmetical things like after shave.

Any ideas?

Hey Spiller! This is Jump4MyLv! I've not been on these boards very much...my dial-up has been horrendous! So I finally switched over to DSL!

I hope you are doing well!

Hi RG! I'm here! I haven't seen emails or calls from you...

...so we are here!

I'm sad too recently but, it feels more like bewildered and a bit tired.

When this happens I just spoil myself...a massage, buy a perfume, take a day off work, have a nap.

In GTID she calls it 'a woman goes into her well.' I hope you know the english word for 'well' which means the deep hole in the earth that you can draw water from.

I always love the TR that says if you have a guy who is a bit too busy for you, you get busier than he!

So, while your guy is in his 'cave' you enjoy your well!

My problem is that I like the 'well' so much I just feel irritated with men completely!

I'm hoping this will pass!

If there is a complication with email or telephone...lets post here.

Or shall I call you?

How are you???????

Spiller

I have sent you an mail, but not quite sure if it ever reached you.
I had difficulties with the mail account.

Basically I am sad.
Really sad.
My husband sits on this computer till night, midnight.
Why I am married?

Any suggestions?

I will go to married as well in order to get the pain out.

Hi RG,
I'm here! Hi! I've been a bit wrapped up in a hundred things and struggling to make time to post...but I can say HI!
I have never heard from Bavarian ever again!
I feel good about that!

How are you doing?

Spiller

Just want to say Hello.

I can not write you an email, at the moment since my email is detected.

So I wonder how you get along rulsewise :-)

Would love to hear from you.

You can write me by the way.
I can read emails, but not write them

I also tried to called you this afternoon. But could not reach you.

Hi Honey, I've missed you - don't worry you haven't missed much with me - Still single but...mum's estate is finally sorted and I hope to move house in about 6 weeks! Maybe then I will be ready to date seriously.

How is everything with you.

Hugs

Hi girl! Hugs to you.

Yes Honey,

I will send a reply - but it sounds like everything is going great for you. I am so pleased.

((hugs))

Hi L,

Did u get my email

love

LPJ

I was married to my ex for seven years but unfortunately that does not make it any easier when it comes to separating business matters.

He was a totally rulesworthy man for the first couple of years until he realised that having a family meant that he had to work for a living consistantly rather than just jacking in jobs every time he got bored and didn't want to work. Now he has a new girlfriend and has little or nothing to do with his own children (other than continually disappoint them) and failed to attend to details of our divorce which could cost me a lot of money.

The only good thing to come out of our marriage is two totally amazing girls - beautiful, bright, vibrant unique individuals who are developing wonderfully dispite their individual challenges.

This experience does make me very wary about getting involved with anyone so my CUAOness involves lots of positive thinking about there being good men out there not just a$$es like my ex.

Sometimes I have half a mind to stay single Thank God I didn't have any children out of wedlock the smartest thing i ever done in my life was to keep my legs closed. but remember there are 6.5 billion people on the planet 300 million in the u.s

Hello

My ex is a complete xxxxx (grr, I just can't think of anything bad enough at the moment) because there is so much more going on with him now that I am going to have to take serious action.

As for the policeman, well, he hasn't booked a date this week and I have booked up all my nights so he is totally out of luck! I am a bit old to be falling for the sex only thing ... no date, no contact and I just don't do the hangout thing which is so dangerous when it comes to avoiding sex.

hOW RUDe of your ex that just goes to show you thatsome men are just out of touch when it comes to their kids as for the policeman it looks like he's looking for just sex only.

I had a guy try that with me but i dropped the bloody fool like a bad habit i did TR on him but i left my phone deliberately off and then the good news was i moved to another state and he didn't have a shot in hell getting me because i still was in love with someone else.

Hi

I posted on Workshop but here are the last posts about the Policeman. I'm still not sure about him except I am pretty sure he is pulling back.

b - 29 Jul
Okay, so now I know that he is testing me!
Bearing in mind the push for sex, then the waiting till late afternoon to contact me, now we have today's text 'What u up 2? Just arrived @ lake district 4 4days walking.' He did not even mention that he had plans to go away.
This feels like a challenge as to how I am going to react. I am going to be a little stricter - the text will go unanswered for at least 4 hours, then my reply will be something like 'How lovely, have a great time.' There will be no competition about who is having the best time and no discussion on what I am or have been doing. For the next four days I will be busy! And then obviously I won't be accepting any dates for 3 days after that! - You want space buddy, you just got it...and more!

b 2 Aug -
So the policeman finally called after I ignored his text.
He got back yesterday and was working today. When he text he said he was going out for a drink with a friend. Then when he phoned he said 'she' cancelled because she was not very well. I think he was angling to be invited round tonight but I just confirmed our morning date for saturday.
I am kinda cross. It reafirmed my feeling that he is only in it because he thinks he is going to get easy sex ... and it just means he is going to have to work even harder! Grr!!

b Today -
I had my morning date with the Policeman. It was fine but I got the impression that he had something on his mind because he kept looking all serious.
He is a very keen runner and cyclist so I was telling him that my ex was supposed to be dropping some bikes off for the girls that he had bought them at Christmas time but I was concerned that they didn't actually exist (my ex is a compulsive liar). He did the official witness signature thing on some forms for one of my friends which was really sweet of him and we stopped for a while and chatted.
Then I went off to collect the girls from riding. Just after I got back my ex rang and said that someone would drop the bikes off. When they arrived they were beautiful bikes but looked huge!

I text policeman (I know, bad leonette) because I could not see how to adjust them and they were even too big for me to get on. He said he would come round tomorrow to sort them out...then five minutes later phoned back and said that it was not fair the girls having the bikes and not being able to ride them so he would be round in five minutes.
He had one look at them and tried his best by removing bits to get them to the right size to no avail! They are for people height of 5'6+. So the policeman offered to take us shopping tomorrow to get some bikes that fit.

I am so annoyed with my ex - apparently he is not allowed to come round here because his new girlfriend won't let him! So he can't even drop anything off for his kids because she is such a bitch! I don't know who he bought those bikes for but it certainly wasn't his kids!

Hi ladies - prat never showed up for the date. I was sort of relieved but angry at the same time. I've just ranted on bootcamp cause I am just so sick of flakey, lame, looser, egotistical a$$holes. I just feel like giving up really it is just so disheartening.

The date went really well last night andI have to say that he is growing on me. He still had another excuse as to why we had to stop at his though ... He WILL learn!

lol

Good luck leonette.
Cleaner guy has not replied at all - that is once I agreed to a date - suprisingly I couldn't care less.

Woo hoo!! Congratulations. I want to know all about it!

Just getting ready to meet the policeman for dinner. Well actually he is picking me up in 40 minutes and I haven't even started getting ready yet! Guess I had better put some make-up on...

Hi ladies of the world. I have a wait for it...... a date.
Actually he sounds a little needy mentioned he was lonely and he sounded quite a lot older than me. I agreed to a date with cleaning guy (has a cleaning business). Waiting to hear. The others are weeded one was 25 years older than me but says he has a lot of money - told him I prefer men my own age. (with lots of money - hehe) just joking.
That's it - obsession with cute guy continues although just like a niggle at the moment, really must 100% move on from this.
I'm away at a convention this weekend - bought a beautiful dress and can't wait.
Take care!
Hello Rulesgirl1 - where ya bin - nice to have you around.

I have to admit that the policeman is starting to annoy me. I woke up to a text saying 'Oy, what happened to my call last night?'

It was Saturday night which is my night for relaxing in on my own. I did not say that I was going to call him, indeed, what would I have to say as he had already managed to catch me on the phone during the day. Even after me telling him yesterday that I was still at the stage of evaluating whether we had enough in common to consider a relationship - he is still acting like he owns me.

As for being attracted to him - I am not feeling any of that at the moment. He is a nice person but very skinny ... long distance runner skinny ... and I don't find that attractive at all. I like my men well muscled.

I think after our date on Monday I am going to give it a break for a while as I can't really see it going anywhere.

Feel free, honey.

You just reminded me of a part in WMLB or WMMB- where after a month or two, the woman is still acting a little unsure. The man's response will inevitably be: how can she still not be sure about me? I am the best, the brightest, etc.

And then he spends all of his time trying to convince her of this.

Not a bad spot to be in, and I think your text may have a similar effect!

And in the meantime, you can get to know him slowly and decide if you are interested or not.

Taylor

It sort of came to a head last night when he text a comment about what I was going to be wearing in bed, which I ignored. Then this morning another text asking why I didn't reply. So I text back saying

i 'We seem to be at different points at the moment - I'm still on if but you seem to be at when ... there's an awful lot of alphabet inbetween.'

I thought that was a subtle way of saying it without having to go into gory details about when I would have sex with him and set a bit more of a tone for the whole relationship. He text back and apologised, asked if he could call and had he upset me.

He's just a bit full-on for me. I am not even sure if I find him that attractive. He is very tall and slim whereas I prefer slightly shorter stockier men. I just wanted to explore the possibility, I'm not ready to dive right in!

Hi Leonette!

I suppose I have no business posting here (being from the U.S.), but your policeman just sounds so darn cute!

On the s-e-x thing, that kind of sounds like a lot of words. I used to worry more about this myself, but then I just eventually got to the point where I felt "if he can't handle it then he is not the one for me".

What about just saying "I'm just not ready for that yet"?

If he is only in it for the sex, then he will poof. If he wants something more, then he will stick around and try to get you "ready"!

What do you think?

Taylor

So the policeman is still pursuing but I feel he is trying to go way too fast.

He keeps trying to see me everyday - excuses like 'You're'll be right by mine, pop in for a coffee', 'if you're going to the gym, you could stop at mine and I'll take you', 'Come round and I'll cook you dinner'... always involving me going to his house! Also he phones every night and asks if he can pop round and say goodnight. Now this is a British Guy so we all know exactly what he is aiming for and he's not being very subtle!

We have only had one date but he is already making 'Well, you haven't got the girls Tuesday night so you could come round after Salsa and then you don't have to rush off'

Is it too early to have the no sex chat?

I thought that on our date on Monday I could say something like
i 'I enjoy spending time with you and I don't lead you on so I just want to let you know that I believe that sex belongs in a longterm exclusive relationship and I don't think that we are anywhere near that place at the moment, I hope you understand'

What do you think?

Oh, and he has even changed his running route so that he passes my house everyday!

Suddenly I have a man pursuing. I worked at the gym for 4 years and the day I leave one of the members actually starts to pursue.

First he insisted on sponsoring me for the Race for Life. Then firstly he did not have any money with him, then I didn't have my form, then I was in a rush so couldn't stop, then he didn't have any money so gave me his number and asked me to text him when I got home so he could pop the money round. Then asked me for my number so he could catch me when he was out and about.

He texted several times and managed to catch me in on the third attempt. Offered me a lift to school and said I could text him anytime I was at a loose end.

At this stage I was still thinking nothing of it ... Well, I am blonde, lol!

He text me a couple of times over the weekend to ask how I was etc which I ignored because I was busy then he texted and asked if I would like to go out some time. Then he rang and left a message on my voice mail. I finally text him back Sunday night and went to bed. Woke up to 'can I ring you' text which was obviously sent last night and then another wishing me luck in my new job. Then he phoned tonight and asked me out to dinner for Thursday!!

I'm sort of stunned! I had not even considered that this guy would be interested in me - he usually hangs around with a lot of rich women (the bored housewife set at the gym). Oh, and of course there is a uniform involved - he's a policeman.

Gruss Gott Dreamgirls! Oder Traumenmaedchen!

I might be spending a month in Vienna and would like to advertise myself on Match in Austria as well as UK. Does anyone know how to do this? Or have any Osterreichische advice?

Ich spreche Deutsche ein bisschen schrecklich so will it be okay if I post a profile in English? Last time I was there everybody seemed totally bilingual.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I tried to call you.

Hope everything is fine and going well.

How is your neighbour? Have you ever met that guy which was his Nanny?

SPILLER, you asked about German dating habits.
I can also tell about Austrian dating habits, but would assume that our two countries are very similar.

I had a post for BUSYKYMOM at bootcamp.
She was asking about that a man was asking for be her boy-friend.

There had been a lot of good advice from other Rulesgirls and also warnings to take care until you are not engaged.

Well, if a man in Austria is asking a woman right away, if he can be her boy-friend, it is like in the US he is asking for engagement.

To commit to a serious relationship is so complete other as in the States, I can not even express how different it is.

It is a totally other world.

The guy asking in Austria for be a boy-friend, that guy is very serious.

I sent you an email about something special.

BUSYKYMOM, who is posting at Bootcamp, told that LILY has passed away. Do you know anything about that? It touches me, since I always thought that Lily is so sensitive. So very sensitive.

Have you ever heard about SPECIAL? She used to post a lot and I miss that. She was very down-to-earth strict rulsy, but very nice as well.

Any information about these two ladies?

SPILLER, please take my apologize for not answering to your posts.

The reason was that my work was more crazy as it is usually. And it is usually crazy.

I worked overhours and was not able to come to the boards.

So only today I read your story. I am very curious about that guy.
Please keep us in touch about how it was. Have you already met him?

I would have given you the same advice as LEONETTE.

It was a special situation and therefore you called.

But if you happen to meet him and if he is happen to be cute, you should never call again. May sound strict, but I am serious.

Rulesgirl - gave some thought to your being a bitch sometimes around your husband. My Ex would walk out after an argument come back hours later. Looking back on the rare occassions I did it to him he treat me a lot better and even apologised. I think WLMB makes such an excellent point (which somehow I did not pick up on in TR4M) is the importance of a lack of emotionally charged reactions - and I was very reactive to him. I think over time he just lost respect for me. God I hope I have learned my lessons. Thanks Rulesgirl for sharing your married experiences it helps me work through this stuff.

Perfume: Honestly feel like I have discovered a whole new world with this stuff. I wore my expensive stuff again last night I just felt great and so femmy - and attracting again such nice attention it was lovely. I have been reading up about perfume - apparently there is quite a psychology behind it - that perfume must be worn first for yourself and how it changes your mood and attitude. I know you probably know all this stuff but I'm having a great time experimenting.

Good luck with your meeting Spiller (hope he's cute).