Getting back in the dating game. It can be a daunting, intimidating experience. You might be feeling awkward and unsure, or maybe you've been hurt a time or two and you're not anxious to take another hit. Or maybe it seems like you never meet anyone who's right for you. In many ways, however, meeting the right person can be easier than you imagine.
What Are You Looking For?
Even though you may be searching, have you thought about what it is that you're truly seeking? Generally, most people are attracted to individuals who have similar interests and values. To understand what it is that you truly enjoy and expect, make a quick list of your hobbies, areas of expertise, goals, and dreams. Let your imagination roam free and note whatever comes to mind. Also make a list of qualities of the type of person you'd like to attract. Consider his or her personality, temperament, religious beliefs, and physical attributes. Both techniques will give you a clearer picture of what you desire and will make it easier to connect with the right person.
Speak Without Saying a Word
Now that you know what you want, you're ready to begin meeting people. But like staring at a blank page when starting a term paper, those first few moments can be rather overwhelming. The age-old questions arise: "What do I say and how do I say it?" "How do I make a great first impression?"
The best way to get people talking is to be curious about them and ask questions that are non-threatening and cover a common ground. Among the most common icebreakers are inquiries about career, hobbies, or family. A quick way to remember this is with the acronym FOR: family, occupation, and recreation. By being curious and asking questions, you can easily get people engaged in a conversation and will put your best foot forward. Sensing Instant RapportEver met someone and felt that you'd known him or her all your life? Sometimes that "connection" you're seeking is more a matter of rapport, which generally occurs unconsciously and effortlessly when you're connected with the right person. You may have the same physical movements, such as leaning toward one another or laughing at the same time, or you may both feel excited or relaxed. Also, your voice patterns may be similar. You may both talk rapidly or softly. These matching body patterns are typical signs of being in deep rapport. Confidence is so SexyThere's something to be said about charisma and charm. We vote for political leaders based on their confidence and we're drawn to poised, beautiful actors. You, too, can become magnetically attractive by drawing someone to you simply by your presence, your attitude, and your personality, even if you tend to be quiet and shy. Begin by studying people whom you admire who attract people easily, then replicate their strategy. Consider how they walk and how they carry themselves, what they say that you find appealing. As you discover these traits, begin to model them, interjecting your own personal style into the process. Also, track what works -- and what doesn't -- for you. This gives you good feedback on how to hone your personal charismatic style.
Let's Get PhysicalOnce you're past the initial stages of meeting and moving into a relationship, knowing if someone is right for you may also be a matter of how he or she makes you feel. It's not just a giddy feeling or butterflies in your stomach. Check in with yourself to see if being with this person is either improving your health or adding unneeded stress. Do you feel comfortable in his or her presence, or do you feel nervous and hesitant? Ask yourself if you feel supported, if you're sleeping well, eating right, taking time for yourself. Take a physical inventory and be honest and truthful with yourself. Often, if you want to know how your relationship will turn out, you can just note how it begins. Start off on the right foot to meet the person who is right for you and you'll be on the path to a strong, healthy, vivacious relationship.GinaMaria Jerome is a writer, consultant and trainer. Her latest book is entitled The Portable Pocket People Meeter: 50 Ways to Meet, Greet, and Communicate.
Source: Relationships & Love
