Have You Found Your Soul Mate?

New Relationship Mistake No. 1: Assume the person is your soul mate immediately upon meeting or shortly thereafter. Look for signs that faith has brought you together and be amazed by the correlations in your lives.

What happens when people think they have found their soul mate?

Heartbreak is almost inevitable when you make this mistake. I hear it over and over again: "We were so compatible . . . we fell in love at first sight . . . we committed to each other right way . . . we had so much in common . . . it is as if we have known each other all of our lives . . . Yet the relationship fell apart, my soul mate's behavior radically changed. What happened?"

The "soul mate theory" struck again.

Because of how the "soul mate theory" works, which I will explain a bit later, you may think you have an instant bond with a person you just started dating. If you believe faith has brought you together, you will throw your better judgment out the window and disregard any red flags and incompatibilities with this person.

If the person you are dating also feels this instant bond, the situation can become very intense. The relationship gets accelerated to the point where you may act like a couple who has been together for years, yet who in reality hardly knows each other.

Intensity of this sort feels wonderful while it's happening. Unfortunately in most cases, about 99 percent of the time, one of you will lose the "soul mate feeling" and leave the relationship. In most cases, this happens sooner rather than later. If the person you have just started dating does not see your relationship as a "soul mate relationship" and you do, you are in for an altogether different kind of experience. You are likely to compromise yourself in many ways in the hopes your partner will realize that he or she is with his or her soul mate and allow closeness. Your partner may end up using you without falling in love with you. Imagine how wonderful it is to have someone love and adore you. Even if you are not in love with the person, you may want to keep him or her around to keep getting this adoration and love. That's just what might happen to you in this kind of relationship. Here is the bottom line: Regardless of whether you have met your soul mate or not, if you get wrapped up in the idea that you might have met your soul mate, you are very likely in for a heartbreak and the end of the relationship. How do you avoid heartbreak? Understanding about what's going on inside of you and the beliefs and theories you are operating upon is your first step. Your second step is learning healthier and more productive new relationship behaviors. Master Certified Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries coaches singles to attract and build loving, fulfilling, long-term relationships. For more information about Coach Rinatta Paries and the myriad of services she has created for singles, visit her Web site, WhatItTakes.com.
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Source: Relationships & Love

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