He Says, She Says: Sex on the First Date
Drinks, dinner, conversation...sex? Single women wonder why they can't meet a man for a nice evening out without him hinting that he'd like to hop into the sack -- on the first night! While some men believe they're being sincerely honest by telling a woman she's attractive and he'd like to sleep with her, these aren't the men looking for a committed relationship.
Here, we take a look at what women and men have to say about a man's desire to get too much too soon:
- Times haven't changed much: "It's no different than it was in the '50s, except the boys then just wanted to pet," says Giselle Blum, 61, a four-year divorcee from New Orleans, La. "With a smile, move slightly away and say, 'I'm not into that.' Explain briefly what you are looking for -- friendship, possible romance. The men who want to go to bed fast aren't the ones you want."
- Alcohol should be avoided: "It may relax the individual, but it 'inhibits the inhibitors' and makes sexual aggression more likely to occur," says Mary Martin of San Clemente, Calif.
- Sorry guys, but dinner means just dinner: "Some men think the price of dinner includes a show," says Patricia Partin of Fairbanks, Alaska."That's why all of my dates are in a restaurant or very public place for at least the first three or more."
- Take it from a cowgirl: Patricia Starck of Indio, Calif., who refers to herself as "just a cowgirl," says, "I take it as a compliment to my sexual presence, tip my cowboy hat, and say, 'Thank you. I'll let you know when I'm ready.' If they won't accept that, I get rough."
- Throw him a curveball: "Ask to meet his mother first. If he has no interest in introducing you to the significant people in his life, he'll probably run after getting what he wants," suggests Gina Woodruff, 37, of Long Beach, Calif. "Asking to meet his mom may make him run sooner, but then you can laugh about it instead of crying later."
What men think: