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How We Doom Our Own Dating Life and What to Do to Change That

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Life and dating coach Monica Magnetti, of Luna Coaching, says that too many people subscribe to myths or beliefs, when it comes to dating, that actually block them from finding a good match. In a recent article, she outlines three "limiting beliefs," that hinder dating success and how to reverse them into three "encouraging beliefs" that can be used to achieve an open and ultimately, triumphant approach to the dating game.

Limiting Dating Belief #1
Our ideal partner is our "type". We can describe their every physical detail to perfection-height, weight, eye color, hair color and length-all of which mean something about who they are.

Limiting Dating Belief #2
Our ideal partner shares all our interests, hobbies, and viewpoints. We think that something's wrong in the relationship if we don't agree on everything, if we're not "into" everything they're "into", if our partner wants to do an activity without us.

Limiting Dating Belief #3
Our ideal partner has "chemistry" with us. We know immediately if it's there or not. And when it's not, it never will be.

So, to sum it up: We want someone who looks the way we like, does all that we do, thinks and feels all that we think and feel, and gives us a jolt when we glance their way.

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Posted November 24, 2009 1:24 PM
Source: YellowBrix, Marketwire

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Enoch_Carr's picture
Posted December 15, 2009 11:29 AM
What we believe, we create: we are that powerful. Dating is a game; a playing field for experimentation. Choose to approach that game with open and encouraging beliefs and lasting and meaningful matches will result. To be in a fulfilling intimate relationship, put aside all the how-to books and begin by exploring who you truly are in the now-including your limiting beliefs.
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nrkerr's picture
Posted November 27, 2009 11:12 AM
The guy who wrote Getting the Love You Want (approx) describes a mental preformulation we have made up of the memories, scents, and interactions with the girls/females who were important to you in your early lives, which he called your "imago" -- the image of your perfect mate. While this may be a limiting factor in your selection process, my own experience has been that there is a "recognition" of the imago when I have met her. It has happened twice in my life and led to long term and happy relationships. I do not suggest that these were the only ones with whom I might have been happy, but I have had two other long term relationships with non-imago women that ended without ever reaching the sort of trust and closeness that imago-based relationships have provided. In each instance, when I met the imago, there was an immediate recognition of the person as the future mate that, pursued, led to marriage.
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