How Well Do You Know Your Partner?

Here is an interesting question: When you are dating someone, do you know who you are actually dating? I mean, are you absolutely sure that the person you are "seeing" in front of you is the real person in front of you?

Unfortunately, most people are not sure whom they are dating, or even being intimate with, or sometimes even living with, or -- worst of all -- married to. Most people think they know whom they are with, but in reality they do not.

Sounds crazy, doesn't it? How is it possible to be so very close to someone and yet have no idea who the person actually is?

It starts with what happens to people when they are single. It is the rare single person who is dating and yet is neutral about being in a relationship. In other words, most singles who are dating are doing so for the purpose of connecting with someone special. Not all want marriage, or even to live with someone; but most want a connection.

This desire for a connection clouds people's judgment. They see whom they want to see and not the person in front of them. On top of that, many singles make mistakes at the start of a new relationship, such as moving too quickly, which clouds their judgment even more.

It's not that if you actually were able to see the person you were dating you would suddenly realize that he or she is all wrong for you, although that is possible. There is also a good chance you would find out the person is just right for you.

But seeing the other person clearly, before you get too deeply into the relationship, is important to your happiness down the road. Accurately seeing each other prevents both of you from forming false expectations and fantasies about each other. Seeing each other clearly can help the two of you appreciate your differences instead of fighting against them. It makes for a more pleasant, smoother relationship -- rather than the drama most couples end up going through as the relationship develops. If you are single and dating there is a good chance you have clouded judgment about the person whom you are with. There are many ways to gain clarity, one of which is to go slowly enough to let time show you the real person behind the person you think you are dating. What are other ways to gain clarity? Most involve delving deep within yourself, so that you can see yourself clearly. Once you can do that, other people cam be seen clearly as well.Master Certified Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries coaches singles to attract and build loving, fulfilling, long-term relationships. For more information about Coach Rinatta Paries and the myriad of services she has created for singles, visit her Web site, WhatItTakes.com.
1 2 Next
Source: Relationships & Love

Want 2 FREE Dating Books?

Join BetterDate.com today for free get a copy of the Intelligent Woman's (or Man's) Guide to Online Dating & the Boomer's Guide to Sex After 50. Click Here to Get Your Free Dating Books.


Print Article