Online Dating Chat and Instant Messengers

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  • Every online dating site will try to convince you that they are better than the next because of the features they offer. For example, eHarmony always brags about their extensive profile questionnaire. Others tout their great matching services while some say they are the best because they are 100% free. However, one feature that almost all online sites have in common is a way to quickly chat instantly with potential matches either through a chat room or instant messaging services similar to the classic AIM or AOL Instant Messenger.

    Here are some tips and hints to keep in mind when you start to use these features wile dating online:
  • Don’t Start With It Make sure that you take the time to make the initial connection either through email. Once you feel that there is a connection and you would like to start communicating with the feel of a conversation without having to be too formal, then the instant messaging or chat rooms may be the next step.
  • Don’t Give Out Too Much Information Just as you should never give your information to a stranger online, the same goes for anyone that you are chatting with using the instant messaging system on an online dating site. Predators will look for any avenue of communication online to try to exploit people. Dating sites and their IM features are no exception. It doesn’t matter how charming or innocent someone may seem, you truly never know who you are really talking to.
  • Be Yourself When trying online dating, it is important always to be yourself. This holds true for your IM chats. The back and forth postings should help give you a sense of who he or she really is and vice versa. If you find something funny or want to joke around feel free. The IM feature is a very informal way of communicating and should be treated that way.
  • Read or Watch Tutorials Most sites will have a FAQ section or a help section that will explain how to use the features available on the site. Make sure to see if the one you are using does and give it a quick read through. The FAQ may have some information you wouldn't have known about otherwise. These sites are always trying to outdo each other so they will constantly be adding new features such as voice chat or video chat. Learn about anything they offer and decide if it is something you would want to use in the future when you become more comfortable.
  • Have Fun Make sure you are enjoying yourself. Dating and more specifically chatting to a potential mate through a dating site should be fun. If you find yourself dreading the fact that you need to talk to this person or that person, then move on. If you aren’t enjoying yourself using the IM or chat feature try another way of communicating. Everyone has different strengths and communication styles. Find which one works best for you.