When boomers re-enter the dating scene, they sometimes have a difficult time letting go of their past experiences, their sorrows, doubts, unrequited loves, losses, fears, and insecurities. They are afraid to love somebody again, and they are afraid of being loved back. Where did all these emotional obstacles come from? Ego. An imbalanced ego, that is.
I always advise those looking for another love to take a look at their ego and give it a tune up. Your ego is your "I." It is your singular point of view. Be prepared to embrace your ego and encourage it to expand in a healthy way. When you do, you will become more self-aware and more confident. Not only will this help you get ready to date again after a divorce, but those you meet will respond favorably to someone who knows and likes herself. .
Here are some "ego tips" to help get you started.
There is nothing wrong with having an ego. Having an ego is like having an attitude. We all have one. An issue arises when its an overly inflated ego (like having a bad attitude). What does your "I" say about you? It is balanced and healthy? Or does it feel overly self-important and self-righteous on the one hand, or miserable and deflated on the other?
Ego functions as your inner CEO. Ego is regarded as your psychological executive. Ego can be a warrior standing fast at the entryway to your body, mind, and heart, helping you make sound decisions. But when it's battered (as it sometimes is after a rough breakup), it can be a sly and destructive trickster. What kinds of choices are you making in your life right now? If they are extreme (overindulging or super hyped up on the one hand, or isolating and punishing on the other), your inner CEO needs an adjustment.
Ego also functions as your CFO (Chief Financial Officer). It judges gain to be good and loss to be bad. However, nature makes no distinctions. Life is full of gain and loss. Practice seeing both sides of situations, without judging. Learning to accept give and take, ebb and flow will help prepare you for the ups and downs of future love relationships.
