The 12 No-Nos of Dating Again

7. Being negative. You don't have enough money. You don't feel well. You're unlucky. Stay positive! No one wants to hang around someone that's always down or complaining. It's just not fun.8. Gender-bashing. Women say, "Men only want younger women." Men say, "Women only want money." Soon, a gender basher will be complaining about the empty seat across the table where his or her date had been sitting.9. Asking leading questions about a person's assets. "What kind of a car do you drive?" Do you own your own home?" "Is that a real diamond?" "Do you live on Rodeo Drive?" These are all red-flag questions. Be interested, but getting too personal sends the wrong signal.10. Sounding desperate. Statements like, "This is my first date in 35 years" or "No one ever asks me out" might be a turnoff to someone who was otherwise interested in you.11. Being dishonest. It's a short-sighted strategy. Sooner or later, the truth will catch up. Besides, it's easier to be honest than to try to remember what fib you told a week ago.12. Being argumentative. Discussing politics or religion is risky. If you pick a fight on the first date, you'll be shadow boxing on the second. Most people don't like confrontation.Remember to be yourself. Relax, have a good time. If you make a mistake, it's OK; you're human. Apologize, make a small joke like, "Wow, I'm a bit rusty," and don't worry about it. By being aware of the mistakes that might turn off a date, you'll make the outing more pleasant for both of you.Tom Blake is the author of Middle Aged and Dating Again (Tooter's, 1997).