Think Money Before Marriage

Money and marriage don't always mix.

That's why couples eyeing matrimony should vow to discuss their financial compatibility before walking down the aisle and exchanging vows, according to credit counselors.

"Ninety percent of relationships are ended because of finances," warned Mary Buffington Thomas, director of education for Credit Counseling Centers of Oklahoma Inc.

She recommends that engaged couples find out who is a spender and who is a saver before tying the knot. Also, discuss financial goals. Do you both plan on buying a home, having children, saving for retirement?

Review credit cards and other debts and develop a plan for paying them off before marriage, Thomas suggested.

Know each other's credit score, because when you marry someone you marry his or her credit score.

Calculate combined incomes and know where you stand financially. If one partner doesn't want to reveal his or her financial status, that should be a "big red flag," Thomas said.

"If you can't talk about money before you get married, you're not going to be able to talk about money after you're married," she said.

The National Foundation for Credit Counseling recommends that couples ask the following financial questions before saying "I do."

• How much debt do you each have? This would include credit card debt, vehicle loans, as well as student loan obligations.
• Do you want a joint checking account or separate ones? Will each wage earner keep his or her paycheck and spend it as desired, or will the money be pooled? 
• Who will be responsible for each household expense? Will the dollar amount be divided evenly? Prorated by earnings? Should the one who earns the most pay for everything? 
• How much "mad money" is reasonable for each person to spend independently each month with no questions asked? 
• Do you believe that retirement planning is something that should start now, or can it be put off? Should both parties contribute to the retirement account? 
• How do you feel about lending money to family and friends? What about caring for aging parents? This may mean that you need to have a discussion with each set of parents. You may discover they've already made arrangements for themselves.