Unemployed Men Struggle in Dating Game

NEW YORK -- Sean Hamilton considered stopping his search for that special someone when he lost his job in January.

With 90 percent less income and no unemployment coming in, the 34-year-old IT professional couldn't really pay for a dinner date. And how would he explain his financial situation without coming across as a slacker?

"To speak plainly, chicks don't dig a broke guy," said the Dallas resident, now a part-time consultant. So he came up with a strategy: "I don't bring it up."

Men have been hit much harder than women by this recession. Close to 80 percent of the job losses since December 2007 were jobs held by men, according to economics expert Mark J. Perry, who analyzed Bureau of Labor Statistics data. April unemployment was a seasonally adjusted 10 percent for men and 7.6 percent for women.

For some guys, unemployment is the last thing they want to reveal to a potential date. Even if men aren't expected to pay for a date, they feel pressure from women who are looking for someone who is financially stable.

"A lot of men are very careful not to say, 'I'm unemployed,'" said Pepper Schwartz, chief relationship expert at Perfectmatch.com. "They say, 'I'm working on this project. I'm taking a sabbatical from work' or 'You heard of GM declaring bankruptcy? I worked there.' They find ways to make it sound like it's not permanent."

Hamilton said when he is pressed, he says he's a consultant. He proposes cheap dates, like cooking an elegant dinner for a woman at her place.

Christie Nightingale of Premier Match, with clients in Washington, D.C., Philadelphia and New York, said an unemployed man is a harder sell. She used to be able to brag to her female clients that a man worked in hedge funds, for example.

Now she has to explain that he is a great match in other areas -- looks, religion -- "but, you know, he's looking for a job."

"I find that women are very accepting," she said. "Some of the women are going through it as well. They have friends that have gotten laid off. It's the times that we're in."

Colin Deeb, 25, who was let go from his computer consulting gig in November, said he has had some experiences where women "seemed a lot less interested the second I told them that I was not gainfully employed."

But that has been rare for the aspiring actor from Brooklyn, N.Y. He said it helps that he is actively looking for work and going on auditions. And he's gotten creative with dates -- meeting for a bike ride, grabbing coffee or finding a cheap play.