Why Do Older Men Date Younger Women?

Hi, my husband is 57 years old and i am 30 we married 5 years ago, we are very happy every single day and i am not exagerated about it. he is such a wonderful man when we saw each other we really felt a lot of attracction, now we have a wonderful son of two years old, before i had a boyfriend of one year older than me but our relashionship did not work, so i think for the love is not age but yes for the concept of mamy people yes they are, my husband is having a bad time of economic situation now and i do not feel to leave him, i just want to be with him and support him as much as i can, the love works do not matter, race, culture and age, i am from peru and he is from US. I hope older men and woman can give themselve the chance of being happiness with their couple younger or older, the live is very short why not enjoy with the people with love and lieave another side the concepts of age. Good Luck and enjoyyy Sandritas

While I am entirely open and desirous of dating women my age (57), I have found there are stark differences between the available ones as a group and women 15-20 years younger. Women my age seem set in their ways, seem to have decided that if they don't get precisely what they want they'd rather be alone, and seem more risk adverse emotionally. Younger women may not have the life experience, but seem more willing to take a chance and be flexible. One reason, then, there may be more older guy-younger woman matches is simply because they are more likely and have fewer roadblocks.

Hi there, Love is love... sometimes things work out with a woman close to your age group... and sometimes they don't. Women in general are usually more mature than men.... even the younger ones. Any younger women(of child bearing age) wish to contact me... go right ahead. Include your pic, phone number, where you live(what state or country)... and any other information you want me to know. I'm 53 and can easily pass for 40 to 45. I appreciate women. Also, I am extremely loyal. I will love you madly. Hopelessly, helplessly, and foreverly will I be in love with you. I am a one women man. A couples guy... very loving, caring, can make you laugh, I take care of myself... easily look 10 years younger than my age. I sort of have longish hair, 6ft. No wrinkles.... just a smidge of grey in my hair. Also, I am very easy going and laid back. I love to hold hands... have no problems with public showing of affection... ya know kissing. I have a good job and can definitely support a family. I also have some musical talents... I just love life. Frankly, I have no doubt I will be around for a long time. On the other hand, I might get hit by a car.... nah just teasing... about the car that is. --LOL-- :o) Feel free to contact me. Smiles and laughter to all, Marc in beautiful Arizona e-mail: THEFILMDIRECTOR1@yahoo.com

im 20 years old women and i dated 57 years old man and get maried year of 2008. wer very happy from the begining and after 2 years ago get separated.. i thought old man are better than the young one.. but its very sad to say i think it same.. and it hurts cause they took advantage of my being inocent... i believe that not all man are like that.. :-)

I personally don’t see any reason why 50 years old men is still young and attractive and 50 years old  is old and not attractive. I think it is stupid prejudices and the only way to get away from it is to teach young woman how to look for a partner successfully and avoid much older guys ( at least from 10 years difference). And I am in my 20  s!!! :-)))  I think society have to change and men have to accept that nobody is eternally young. Men have chance to date girls in their 20  - and it is only in their 20 s and early 30. After that I think they have to look for the best looking partner in your age group +- 5 years... And well – I think why there some big age difference relationships – young woman are often not aware what they really are looking for. They try different things – including dating older guys and get attached. Because sex creates attachment and dependency, you cannot really play with it easily.  And they end up in the relationship with much older guy that rarely works out and can have a negative influence on their life.   

I find it incredibly funny how most of the woman expressing their views here lack long term perspective. Most of those woman most probably stay windows in late 30 - 50, they as well will look not 20 anymore and us their partners were much older their process of getting older most probably will be even faster. ( it is proven that woman get older faster with an older partner) So those 40 -50 years old full of energy woman according to the expressed here logic will be "used goods" and not interesting for men in their age category 40-50-60 even 70!!! All of those guys are supposedly going to chase younger happy woman. So basicly woman according to thhis guys and woman logic is a peece of meat that you use and throw away.. I am surprised that so many young woman support this phylosophy and meet older guys just to be one to suffer later in life. Maybe woman should have more common sense and solidarity and try to date peers or men till 5 years older. This will help to create a healthy family and give a change to spend a life together. Dont be a piece of meat.

Im 29 and my man is 47..and we are very much aware of age differences...and yes people have their opinions..but we do not care...we are each other soul mates...we are in love and it feels good.. we are there for each other.. we take care of one another...and our sex life is wonderful so... age really is just a number..and i never feel like he's sooo much older or i get bored with him.. and he doesnt feel like im immature or naive,,we are on each other levels..and we respect each other,,,he is my muse im so in love..

Not all of us are seeking to take advantage of some poor guy’s money. Not all of us have intentions of running away when the going gets tough or because we'd rather go clubbing than spend a quiet evening at home. I am twenty and dating a forty-year-old man. We have been together for a rough eight months, during which he has been working on recovering from alcoholism (which is a hard road for him and anyone who is around and loves him). By the way, we are both scraping by month to month, so definitely no abuse of his money happening. We actually help each other when we can (more often than not, me helping him because I don't have child support to pay for a kid that's not mine). I have seen him at his best and worst. He has sat with me in the hospital when I had surgery to remove a cyst that was causing me excruciating pain. I have watched his soul heal a little bit (a quote from one of his customers: “Ah, so you’re the gem who made the woman-hater change back into a human being and fall in love. Bravo. Never thought it could happen.”). I have witnessed healing in my own heart from all of the heartache that has been packed into my few years (and no, I don't mean omg my bf broke up with me or my bff is talking about me behind my back stuff--wish life was that simple sometimes). I have had to be extremely patient as he goes through this process, but it has been worth it. I know every time I see his face he is glad to see me and he loves me beyond your wildest imagination, not because I’m young and pretty but because we have a genuine friendship and a deep abiding love you read about in romance novels. And no, he is not getting sex out of the deal either. I told him when we first met I was a virgin and intended to stay that way until my wedding night, a position he has respected almost too much (he has yet to kiss me-haha, better safe than sorry I guess). And speaking of that night, we are talking about marriage very seriously right now. The only reason there’s not a ring on my finger is he feels he would be very selfish to marry me then “abandon” me in twenty or thirty years. We are working on getting him past that one. :) So, Mr. Blake, next time shall we avoid gross generalizations?

For a better perspective on why older men really date much younger women, try this article it is a Google KNOL. http://knol.google.com/k/men-dating-much-younger-women-part-1-the-myths-...

Hi! I am a 27 years old woman and I am dating a 57 years old gentleman (30 year gap). And I think he is the best thing that happen to me. We been dating for 3 1/2 years and we also have a 2 years old daugther and things are going great. We have our ups and downs, but overall we love each mutually and deeply. At first it was an experience, but as time pass by, we found out that we have alot of things in common and when we are together, we don't look each other as if "Oh, you are old!" or "Oh, damn you are too young for me!" We do things for each other as well as compliment each other. And by the way, our sex life is wonderful!!!!! No Viagra Needed!!! LOL

Why do I, a middle-aged fellow, like younger girls? I don't quite look my age, for one. I'm still getting I.D.'d. And I don't want the life that most older women are looking for. I want to grow and stay fresh and relatively active. I don't want to be stressing about buying a house (what a headache) and retiring. I still don't have what you would call a career. Younger girls suit me. Hey, but if I found the right girl my age, I'd be thrilled.

If 2 people love each other they can conquer anything and 2nd of all age is just a number with no feelings or a heart most people that see my love and i together think hes much younger than he is 3rd of all he knows what he wants and how he wants a woman and if i can do it than why the heck not

I have nothing to say then i need the man of my life someone that will love and care for me forever.

I can perhaps identify with some of the over-30 and over-40 women who respond with such anger and disgust to the idea of older men/younger women being together. To them I also say: Now you know how younger men felt when you snubbed them repeatedly, when you were in your teens and 20s. Frustrating, huh? Maybe it took until you were older to know what you were doing to them, emotionally. In any case, now we're the same age as you and finding the situation reversed. Doesn't seem as fair as it used to? Them's the breaks. I dated nothing but 30s and 40s women throughout my 20s and before.

I usually date younger men, but I find men of all ages attractive, it really depends on their personality, and if we have anything in common. I really don't think age matters, either way, if you enjoy someones company, that is the most important thing. If you marry for money, I believe you will will difiantly earn every penny, and you will spend your life trying to justify yourself....marry for love :)

i just turned 22, and am dating a man who is 49 years old.we have been togethere for over a year now it is wonderful. my parents have a huge age difference too. so the whole thing saying it wont work out is bull. as long as you love eachother and can understand and trust eachother, it's all that matters

Love your attitude, sweetie. I guess there are just so many more important factors than age.

i indeed do have something to say. i know by posting this i'm open to all kinds of judgments, but that is of no concern to me. i am a 24 year old woman dating a 61 year old man. i am very much in love with him. i wonder sometimes why i'm so lucky to just know him. yes, he does have a considerable amount of money and stability. and this article stated that you do not see younger women with destitue older men. his money is no matter to me. it doesn't mean a thing. good for him. and he is in good health, for now. i have health care training and my own grandmother died a very hard and bed ridden death that i took care of her through. i don't care if people know we are together when we go out. he is no secret to anyone. if his health failed, you are damn right that i would be there. i would push him around in a wheelchair anywhere. anything to be with him. and the article says about older women staying by his side. what if they were both ill? he is already a widower. should we all expect this lively brilliant man to settle down in his easy chair and wait for death?! no! suppose he got with another woman his age and she died on him too. i don't care at what age i become alone as long as i have the amazing blessing of having him in my life as long as possible, i do not care what the future, the inevitable future, holds in store for me. this man wants to go base jumping. he goes scuba diving and shark diving. he more vital and energetic than any man my age. he has two degrees and military experience. he is worldly and has fine taste (if i do say so myself, lol). how can you expect a woman to not fall head over heels for such a gem! and gentle compassionate he is. as well as rough when need be. and strong as he can be. i'm breathless when thinking of him. not his money. his humor and dammit, i do know who humphrey bogart is! and knew who he was before i started dating this man. haha. the post below mine is eerily familiar. lol. and the sex is mind blowing. he is the most vibrant person i've ever known and if you have anything negative to say about this and refuse to be happy for him and i, then i'm sorry. it is what it is.

hello. i am 22 and i am dating a 42 year old man and i must say it is the best thing i have ever done. he is very matured [of course!] the sex is incredible and YES WE HAVE MANY THINGS IN COMMON we both like the same music, enjoy the same movies, like to go to vegas and gamble, dance, eat kabobs, etc..now, young women arent only with men for money. yes of course they are much more financially secured AT TIMES, but i must say i am capable of buying whatever i want. i do have a career, i am an RN. ALSO,if my boyfriend became ill i wouldn't leave his sight and there are many OLDER WOMEN with men their same age who i know [from witnessing it in my work] who do not come to visit their husbands while they are ill in bed and seek companionship. and yes, there is no fountain of youth, but nowadays there are many men [as well as women] who do not look their age, but look younger. my boyfriend is lean with full set of hair and thats because he takes care of himself. he goes to the gym and he eats well..i can truly say i am lucky to have met him.

I am dating a woman 9 years younger and im 29. I frowned at that article, especially on the part about money. Someone is obviously jealous because he feels left out or something. That is bollocks. I am jobless, and she goes to college, eventually she will make more money then me. I agree on some rare points, there is a different energy level, I hope she will bear with me... but i need that push, im not that old, hey. And there are some differences, since we are at different stages in our lives, but we do have things in common. Although there is a difference, we went though similar negative experiences, yet Im not sure it was on the same scale. It doesnt always feel great to date someone who is in the same mindset you were 9 years ago... it was nice but i moved on... The relationship feels somewhat passionless, but i think this is what we both want. I am aware that shes young and inexperienced, and she will eventually want to try something else, she might want to leave me... i totally respect that. But i focus on the nice things. I want that, there are lots of good things and I am lucky, why should I waste that? It seems to lead me in the right direction.

I think that older men should be allowed to date younger women. Younger women are more appleaing then some older 50ish woman in her career and bitter against men. I am 53 and I am dating a younger woman who is 28 and I deserve her. If you want to know more about me, check out my website at http://www.billdentomology.com

I don't disagree with this article and I am not a "bitter old hag". I am a younger woman (32) with a partner who is 50 and while it is a great most of the time, the reality is that being older does present challenges. Like despite being incredibly healthy, my partner has aches and pains. His erectile function has diminished and the sex, while more tender, isn't as easy for us as it used to be. Even with the help of viagra, there are still times when his erections are not as firm as guys in their 20s or 30s. This is just a fact. His desire waxes and wanes like the moon, and this is nothing you would know from looking at him. He looks young, he is in excellent shape, but that doesn't change the fact that time has taken over his body and there's little he can do about it. I sometimes want to have him for companionship and a younger more virile partner for sexual relations.

I disagree with this article.It is silly, because I started dating a man 12 years older than me six years ago who was with an older woman less mature than me.They were broke up during the time we started dating, and after she started coming back around I gave him an ultimatum.But she still kept trying to come around even though they were no longer together any more.Is that being mature or what?I think I am more mature than she is, that is why they are no longer an item.Cause I would not want to keep seeing a man that was seeing some one else after we officially broke up that was seeing a younger woman or an older woman.Cause I am not in to whats left over.

I completely disagree with this article. I'm right there with the last poster. I am dating a much older man...forty years older to be exact. I have always been attracted to more mature looking men, and I feel like I have definately found that one. In my opinion, older men are more likely to be more talkative. I mean my guy always makes sure that I know he wants me, and that he thinks that I am sexy. Let's be honest, what woman doesn't like to know that she is desired? Like the last poster, I completely agree that the sex is so much BETTER!! He is so much more attentive to my needs in the bedroom. He has more stamina that all the younger men I have been with, In fact, he actually has a more active sex drive than I do. We have been together for almost four years, and it still takes effort to keep our hands to ourself in public. He also enjoys fast cars and good times. I mean don't get me wrong, he isn't one for the club scene but neither am I so it works out well. I mean he so much more charming. He pulls out chairs and opens doors. Even after four years, he gets upset when I don't let him do these things for me. Oh and I was some what offended by Section 9 of the article. For the author's information, my boyfriend was diagnosed with cancer at the beginning of our relationships, but I did not abandon him as your articles suggests a younger woman would have. I went to the doctor's appointments and therapy classes. I remember one day when he was very ill he said to me, "Baby, if you want to leave and end this now I understand. You shouldn't spend your days in the hospital with me." It was then that I knew that I could never walk away from him. He is healthy now, and it was well worth the hours spent in the cold, sterile hospital rooms. The truth of the matter is when you really love someone, you don't bail on them. This is true of relationships with age differences. Also, I don't mean to offend anyone, but sometimes it seems as if older women are a bit bitter. My suggestion.... Ladies, why not play the game yourself. Go out and get yourself some hot, young stud. Get it Girl!!!! ;)

I HAD TO COMMENT ON THIS.. LOL who ever wrote this artical is definitely a hater.. everything this person has stated is not true every older man and younger is not the same.. this is the real world ok and your just gonna have to accept the fact that older men date younger woman it lastes and they love it!!! first off i a a woman in my early 20s and proud of it i am with a man in his early 40s and just because your 40 and up does not mean you have to be that way who says they have to be in bed by 10 and they dont like nice fast cars and they have low energy,and they only like the woman for hey youth and beauty.. OH PLEASE my man has 2 maseratis a lamborghini a jeep and a benz.... all nice and fast he is up all hours of the day we both will be in bed by 5am if not up all night doing you know what...most of the time i cant keep up with him in the bed talk about energy... one time we has sex from 11pm from 11am..so you cant say older men dont have that much energy. we also like to go to amusment parks and go on crazy rides he even look my sky diving for the first time i did it he did it twice already. he likes new age music and old school and so do i...they like young independent smart woman and thats just what i am yes i do like corvetts and i happen to drive one also a eclips. i am a model in new york and i have all the money i need.. iv done commericals shows and i am doing a movie as i speak a big one at that i graduated a year early then what i was supposed to and thats just a little bit...so we do not need them just for money...i am out with my man in public and in the house he is not ashamed of me and i am not of him we he has great helath actually better then mine... as long as your active doing fun things you can feel young.. anyone would because your taking care of yourself.. i stop drinking soda and drinked only water and from that alone i felt and looked even younger.. as far as the maturity goes i am very at 16 i was taking care of my family i had 2 jobs and i have 6 brothers ad 4 sisters YES a big family my mother couldnt pull that i was taking care i her i had to grow up fast half of the time no1 can figure out my age because i look young and beautiful but i dont carry myself that way and that says alot about a person..i say when its time to have fun then have fun when its time to be serious and take care of business then do it and thats how it should be for everyone.. young woman just dont think about fast cars and hip hop music we just dont wanna party and find rich old men and take there money as soon as it runs out move on..THATS RUDE TO SAY WHEN YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THAT PERSON sometimes i even feel like im older then the old because wht i been through i could not even imagine.. you might have more years on me as u should lol bt i have done way more been through way more then most old folk out there living..me and my man has been together for 3 years now and things are only getting better for us we have alot in common and his birthday is 4 days after mine so where the same sign as well no wonder lol.. wel i made my point and that was this artical is not a fact its just your opinion!!! much love though

Hi - I just want to give my perspective as a 32 year old who separately dated three much older men in my twenties for periods of between 18 months and three years. I'm university educated, emotionally very content, from a stable family background and have a successful professional career in personal coaching. Having entered my 30s and perhaps matured a little, I now look back on those relationships with a great deal more clarity. I don't want to try to teach anyone how to suck eggs, and for anyone posting on here who has genuinely made a go of a age-gap relationship I truly send my warmest wishes and deep admiration. However - although I would remind everyone that most of this article is somewhat tongue-in-cheek and clearly not intended to be taken all that seriously - I would say from my experience that there are several things in the article that ring true. I had some good times with my older men, sure, but it wasn't enough to sustain the relationships. The difference in life experiences was a problem - not being able to genuinely "share" the experiences because we grew up in completely different decades and societal contexts. So was the issue of friendship circles - I'm fairly cosmopolitan and socially mobile, but I confess I found most of their (the three older guys') friends quite difficult to relate to beyond social chit-chat, and most of my friends privately didn't like an older guy coming out with us (although they were always friendly on the surface) because ditto, they did not find it easy to relate and felt they were always having to "explain" the context of various conversations and anecdotes because the older guy did not "get" them due to the age gap (although he would usually desperately pretend he DID get it!!). On a few occasions we tried to mix-up our social groups at events, but however hard we tried, it inevitably resulted in a slightly strained "us-and-them" atmosphere. The energy levels were an issue at times too - I was all too often raring to go to a downtown club or a party come the weekend, they would usually want to go out just the two of us, or if they did come with me, they would always be ready to leave about two hours earlier than I was. And if I went anywhere on my own, they got really, really jealous and possessive, worried that I might hook with someone more my own age. I did also experience the pitfalls of considerable family/peer group disapproval - you can try to ignore it, but believe me, it has a much greater influence than you can possibly imagine when you start out as defiant new lovers. As a result of all this, I joined several forums and discussion boards over the years in order to be able to share experiences with other women and men in a similar situation. I reluctantly have to observe that the majority of the women I chatted with revealed, when I got to know them over several months/years, deeply seated emotional issues and insecurities that had led them to date older men. Eg, father absent/neglectful during adolescence, financial insecurity, unstable home life, very low self-esteem, even in some cases abuse within previous relationships. I'm really not trying to disparage the ladies who have posted about their successful relationships here, I wish all couples the best in life, but perhaps it's the fact that they are the rare exception to the rule/ defying the norm that make them feel so passionate about wanting to protest against this type of article. It can occasionally work, it would be pretty dumb to suggest otherwise, but all I can observe is that nearly all of the women I chatted with over the years and those who I've since met in my professional practice, did not end up with successful older-man relationships once the "honeymoon" first year or two had passed. In fact most ended up more emotionally damaged and confused as a result of the problems they had encountered in dating older men. I personally have given the older guy thing a really good try, and have tried to keep an open mind, but sadly have to conclude that on average it's far more difficult and less likely to succeed than a more age-matched relationship. Thanks for listening.

Well, Im soon to be 29 and he just turned 67! I must admit this age difference was very awkward for me at first because my dad is four years younger than he is!... lol It took me a few months to stop caring what people may think when they see us in public. I haven't noticed many weird looks, although it may be assume that we are just father and daughter.. lol After only 3 months of seeing each other, he asked me to carry his child! Of course I was shocked and even floored by the proposition. I guess I assumed that he was comfortable with looking forward to retirement and enjoying his GRAND children, but I guess I was wrong! I myself have no children and I have since thought of this as a possibly great oppurtunity to start a family, but I am very apprehensive about his inevitable limited time on earth. I sort of shot his idea down when he first brought it up, but now that we are continually spending time together and getting much closer, I may reconsider it. And for those wondering, yes we do maintain an active sex life, but we share more than that, like good conversations, outings, and just peaceful, quiet evenings together. Who would of thought?!

Everyone who is disputing the argument that older men should not be with younger women, congratulations on having a workable relationship.At any age, it is a wonderful thing. I am directing my issue to women in their teens and early 20's. Eighty-five percent of marriages failure for women who marry in their early 20's and younger!!!!! Period - it's a fact. My daughter 17 and headed for College and I know her friends very well, all between the ages of 17-20. They are still becoming emotionally mature, and while AGAIN, a FEW exceptions may exist in our society . . . serious relationships at that young age are the EXCEPTION, not the norm. Am I the same person I was at 20 that I am today?? Absolutely not ! And I can absolutely admit 100 % that I was not not mature enough to be in a serious relationship at that age as well. AND It's okay to be young and take time to figure your life out !!! 20 somethings and younger-- allow time for those experiences, allow yourself that time for you ---That older someone, who's already had a that exciting time in their 20's, should respect that you should be allowed to enjoy those years too as they once did.

I am a 62 year old man who has a 25 year old woman as my best friend. She is gorgeous, sweet and more mature for age than most 25 year olds. We have never been intimate and I have never pursued her. I have tried several times to break us up, but she keeps coming back. She had a baby and the father wanted nothing to do with her after that. I had told her I would help with the baby. The problem is that she moved back in with her parents and now I am the bad guy after taking care of her for over two years, including taking her into my apartment twice. I have very little money, but have been able to do things for her that nobody else, because I want to live as good as live as she can. The main problem is my age because obviously I am older than her parents and her dad is extremely jealous of me. I think society is wrong, because look at what is going on. Because I am an older man, but I work everyday and want to take care of someone who I would go to the end of the world, I am a bad perverted man. I don't relate to women my age because most of them have either been abused and don't want a relationship or are worried more about their grandchildren. By the way my parents think I am absolutely out of my mind. I just want to give her what she has not had and won't have, All well.

In addition to my previous post, for those who state that older men are with younger women because they can easily control them, you are oh so wrong. He does not, and never has tried to control me in anyway. He expects me to be independent and have my own opinions. He never dictates to me what i should or should not do. If we disagree on something, we come to a compromise, but he never expects me to just do what he says and abide by his every word, and i don't expect the same of him. there is alot of equality in our relationship, and not one dominating the other. He does allow me my freedom, as i do his. I don't have a suffocating relationship. It is however filled with alot of love, trust, respect and loyalty. Further more I have a very strong personality; is very educated and opinionated, and not one to be controlled. I may be young, but I am certainly no push-over. So there you go, trying to put us "odd" couples down...AGAIN.

I don't want to offend anyone, but i am sick and tired of these bitter 50 year olds, bashing primarily young women when it comes on to this kinda thing. Don't worry, we'll leave enough 50 something year old men for you too, we won't take em' all.Geez. Oh, and guess what...I do happen to be in a relationship with a gentleman that is 25 years older than i am. We have a whole lot in common and our conversations are very intellectually stimilating. I am not a party girl; certainly not the type to want to hit the club on fridays, weekends or any day of the week for that matter. My old "Geezer" is very active. He trains people how to box, gets up at 6am every morning to workout, actually sleeps much less than i do, he's very fit (much fitter than i am), he ain't walking with a cane, and he doesn't have a bag of money stashed up. I am attracted to him, the person- not to what i can get out of him. That's right, he doesn't have any form of material possession that would keep me clinging to him. Okay I understand the arguement about the health issues and the possibility that he may die before me. Either way I'm going to take good care of him whether he is sick or healthy and enjoy every moment with him. He certainly won't be in a retirement home. He's very active and vibrant, he loves life and loves to enjoy life and he's been like that ever since i met him. Yes, he has more experience than I do, and he has taught me alot- but it's even greater because i teach him alot too. I'm not an immature, club jumping, sleazy young woman who hooks up with old guys just to suck them dry. What do you have to say about the older women who are with younger guys???? We do alot of things together from working out, to dancing, to sitting in bed and reading books or just the newspaper, cooking, singing, playing sports- you name it, and he's more than twice my age. So please, keep the bitterness to yourselves.

First of all... GEEZER... give me a freaking break... using that word for middle age guys is about the same as calling a woman of that age a hag... no difference... or calling every young lady on some older guy's arm, a slut. I am so fed up with the stereotypes, without considering many factors in individual cases. My father married a woman twenty years younger, and they had one of the most beautiful marriages of any that I've known. They lived for each other their entire lives. I, on the other hand, married a woman close to my age. And after twenty years of marriage, it went south. Because of too many factors to mention. At a later time, I was going through the worst financial time of my life, had nothing to my name basically and through luck, met a lady in her twenties that we seemed to be drawn together. She was from a culture that seemed to respect older people much more than ours. She knew I had nothing, but she said it didn't matter. Now, for once in my life, I've found someone with the same sexual energy that I have, many more things in common than the lady who was my own age. And she's the one who's falling asleep first. So, I'm in my fifties, I live on five hours of sleep a night, work out in karate, go to the gym, always trying to learn a new language, or computer software... and I dare anyone one out there to come up and call me a GEEZER. Bottom-line... not everything in our society needs to be considered an episode of "Desperate Housewives"... there are some truly lucky people who find rewarding relationships, no matter the age difference. Just let them enjoy it, and worry about your own hang ups.

I have met so many younger women living with older men simply for a roof over their heads. One actually told me that when they have an argument she has to phone him and apologise and tell him how much she loves him even athough she knows that she had nothing wrong in the first place. So they do have to pay emotionally. I was widowed 5 years ago and last year fell madly in love again but unfortunately he has dumped me for a russian girl half my age. In this case I think it is because he does not feel secure in a relationship unless he has full control, and as this woman has no money no job and was struggling to pay rent he is now showing her a way of life that she cannot refuse, paying for everything ,wining and dining so she only has to say and do the things that men want in return. I personally call it a form of prostitution. I think that I was too independant for him and was not available the moment he phoned me as I do indeed have a full life and have never depended on a man for anything except love ofcourse. Ofcourse I have also seen couples with age difference working out extremely well also but normally the man is generally superfit for his age and therefore the age difference is not obvious

I agree somewhat with the article - although yes we all realize there are instances of exception. SOME people can and do have successful relationships even with large age differences. But we are discussing the majority, and you have to acknowledge it's not the usual case that a 16-23 year old has a relationship with a person 20 years older. Recent studies of brain scans of younger men and women have proven to that the areas of the brain used for reasoning and maturity are not developed fully until 25 years old. If it truely is about being in "love" then let the younger person have a few more years to experience life before settling into a serious relationship. I do not hold any grudge against younger people and older people getting involved. But realistically speaking, as people grow older, we think much, much differently than we did as a teen or 20 something.

am trying to start a discussion group myself of younger girls dating older men. Since I last posted, I have gotten some great, positive responses from girls my age who gave advice or i tried to help them out, When I google older men younger women, I get a lot of articles talking about how in this day and age it is a lot more popular and up and coming. And NO its not about me being a "gold digger" or him looking for a "trophy wife" and there;s no "daddy complex" . So please e-mail me and we can discuss this issue and develop ideas to confront people when faced with the commments and judgements. My idea is something of an online support group...let me know.... klinxweiler@live.com

am trying to start a discussion group myself of younger girls dating older men. Since I last posted, I have gotten some great, positive responses from girls my age who gave advice or i tried to help them out, When I google older men younger women, I get a lot of articles talking about how in this day and age it is a lot more popular and up and coming. And NO its not about me being a "gold digger" or him looking for a "trophy wife" and there;s no "daddy complex" . So please e-mail me and we can discuss this issue and develop ideas to confront people when faced with the commments and judgements. My idea is something of an online support group...let me know.... klinxweiler@live.com

i'll just post my e-mail anyways...Jmarsh15@yahoo.com any help would be nice

i would really appreciate talking to the woman two posts below me. About being married to someone a great deal older. I'm currently going through a similar situation and could use some advise. post back on here and i'll give you my email if you wouldnt mind.

i am not dating or married to an older guy, however i think there are some rather offensive references in your article. what business is it of ANYONE what other peoples preferences are? WE all need to "live and let live" stop judging people for their personal choices in life, the majority of people who are judgemental and bias are the ones who have REAL issues... because they are always b!tching about others in order to get a "feel good about themselves" feeling. What i say is stand in front of a full length mirror and assess your own life... when its perfect (which will be your own perception of perfect) then go around judging others, until then keep your mouth tightly shut and your comments to yourself please. Blessings!

I wanted to reply to this because I am in my 20's and my husband is in his early 50's. My husband was never married prior to our marriage and has never had a lot of money. I do not even consider money as any sort of criteria in a genuine relationship. My husband and I first met on the internet and got to know one another merely as friends with no thoughts of any other type of a relationship. I pursued the romantic relationship first. As someone who grew up not being able to relate to my own generation, I found solace in someone older. Someone who shared my interests. Instead of the usual pastimes of the average 20-something adult, I am not interested in a glamorous party life. I am a slow paced, patient woman who values a serious relationship. My husband has on many occasions stated that he considered me to be more emotionally mature than most women he had ever known of any age. I was the first he could actually relate to...the first who had similar ideas and opinions about the world as his. The first to have *gasp* a lot in COMMON with him! He also admitted that if he had met me when he was younger then he would not have understood me. He would not have appreciated me as he can now. Thus our age difference compliments us perfectly. It is true that I will probably outlive him. We have discussed this and it's not a nice thing, but I am devoting myself to keeping my husband as healthy as possible and intend to make the most out of our relationship in the meantime. I am very bothered by the judgmental notions of others and many false "know it all" claims like the ones in the above article. Apparently saying that you are in love and happy is not enough for other people. They have very dirty minds and have on many occasions tried their very best to rain on our parade. The prejudice is awful and at times hurts with a very sharp pain. The first few months of my married life were miserable. Not because of any actual marriage problems but because of disapproving family and friends. As I tried to very much enjoy my new married life, the rest of my family sobbed over what they perceived as a huge tragedy. Things have evened out a bit now, almost five years later...but the prejudice is still there and at times, it still hurts a lot. However, I count every moment spent with my husband as extremely valuable. Every day spent with him is a blessing and I wouldn't have it any other way.

i'm 21 dating a 40yr old guy we love each other but is so taboo in south africa to date an older guy,i dont know how to tell my friends or family hes a nice guy my aunt and sister have met him and they all say he looks 30.Hes just makes me very happy....

In some cases because they are afraid of getting older, of uncertain death, older men date younger women. This always reveals itself when a man won't date a woman his own age.

It doesn't take a scholar to pick out which comments have been left here by divorced, middle-aged, and oh-so-bitter women. STOP IT! Could it be that it's not that they are running to younger women, but that they are searching for happiness in something OTHER than what they had? What if the new woman were a different race, religion, or even a man? WOW! I bet you ladies would just go wild. I'm 31. My husband is 53. We didn't seek each other out. We are not indulgent people. We make equal contributions to the household. We did go through an adjustment period with certain family members and friends. Now, our relationship is regarded as nothing if not 100% genuine. I completely accept that his health will most likely fail much sooner than I'd like, but who cares? I want to be the one to take care of him if he becomes ill today or 10 years from now. Who knows what may become of me before then? We live our lives with each other and for each other every day. SHAME ON THE LADIES who let themselves think that youth Itself has drawn their man. They may not find happiness, so you acn enjoy watching them fail. OR you could get off your pc, quit your whining, and go find your happiness...whatever that may be. P.S. I can only assume that all the slanderous comments about young ladies being immature, selfish, and shallow are from women who speak of their own pasts behavior. FYI My husband says that main turn-off he's had with women closer to his age is that THEY DON'T TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES. It means the world to Mike that I live a simple, healthy, and active lifestyle...always have. His disappointment with older women was that they wore too much make-up and tried give off a bright youthful persona, but was continually let down and left feeling misled.Oh, and I shouldn't forget about the endless hang-ups. Younger PEOPLE tend to be more flexible and open to adjustment while entering a new relationship. Many middle-aged women are too set in their needs and expectations too conform to their partner's wants and needs. Also, some of you folks may want to take into consideration that soon I will be taking care of him. I will be working while he enjoys retirement. It will involve compromise. Our trust, rspect, and committment to each other should make the transition go well. Maybe it's the women who are nearing that point in their own lifes who are more concerned with who will be taking care of them. You cannot change your age the way I cannot change mine.

Is there a reason this article is titled "Why Do Older Men Date Younger Women?" and actually about the reasons these relationships don't work?

I am 23 and dating a man that is 59 years old and this article is false from my own experience. Our friends have been supportive, but our families not so much. I have been threatened by his daughter who is close in age to me and called a number of horrible names. if anyone can give me advice, stories, or words of wisdom, it would be greatly appreciated. email me at klinxweiler@live.com

What about the reverse situation - an older woman dating a younger man? I have heard the term "Cougar" used. That seems unfair as it implies that they are lying in wait to pounce on their victims.

Well...I'd just like to provide a bit of an 'exception' to all of these broad sweeping statements. I reckon that sometimes men are interested in young girls because they are young and beautiful, I mean.....that's understandable, sometimes women are interested in young men because they are young and beautiful too...young and beautiful is enticing. Similarly, some younger people are interested in older men because SOMETIMES they have more money. IF these are the only factors bringing two people together, then I guess perhaps after a short time, you will have a problem on your hands, although who knows, it might be enough to keep some people happy! However, if there is more to your relationship then the age gap, then I believe some of these things that are a result of the age gap can be....positive and beneficial to a relationship. A young woman may, like myself, be attracted to a slightly more emotionally mature man who already knows what he wants out of life, rather than the less emotionally mature men of her own age - regardless of material wealth, experience IS a good thing! Similarly, an older man can fall for a girl's younger 'attitude' and personality, but the fact that they are also younger in body and feel nice to hold can't hurt can it? The thing is, I am a 19 year old English girl who is heading for Edinburgh University in September - I'm not uneducated, and the people who know me know I am no fool when it comes to relationships, I've had a 3 year relationship with a man who was a year older than me, and found him to be basically, just not ready for what I wanted. He was still figuring out what he wanted and was a very dependent person who needed a LOT of help from me. My current boyfriend is 30 years old. He has a steady job but is in no way rich, but he has had experience with a long relationship and knows how to treat a woman, I'm in love with him, not with his age, and I feel certain he feels the same about me. At first I was worried that other people would disapprove of the age gap. Some do. But if it works for me (and believe me, it REALLY works for me) And it works for him, then why should I limit my own happiness just for other people's preconceived ideas? Basically, I think that currently we are giving each other EXACTLY what the other needs. If that changes, it may be to do with age differences and long-term different needs, but I choose to believe that that is the case with every couple, and age is just an additional factor, not the be-all and end-all of a relationship.

well when I was 16 I started dating a man who was 19 years older. I am now 19, he 38 & we are breaking up. but I am starting to like another guy who is 35 & we like eachother. but he is a close friend of my mother & most of her friends. they don't like the fact that we spend time together & my mother thinks it sick. I can't help that I like older men. I find them quite attractive & somewhat mysterious. but I would like some advice on the situation. because we would like to be together but they won't let us. so someone e-mail me please. beasleysag@aol.com