Your Sexual Values: Are You Honoring Them as You Date?

Perhaps you let other make you feel uncomfortable, wrong or bad -- or you feel you need to accommodate others in order to date people, be loved or begin a relationship. In these situations, you are not honoring your own values about sexual conduct.

Some singles run across others who openly talk about sex or discuss what their turn-ons are. Not feeling comfortable with this kind of talk before being in a relationship, they feel compelled or obligated to put up with it or work around it, thinking they have to do this in order to find love. The people who "talk the talk" often ridicule the people who are not comfortable with it.

Some singles also run across others who expect to have physical intimacy in the first few dates. Preferring to wait until the relationship is established, they wonder if they are being too old-fashioned. The singles who want sex before the relationship often ridicule those who do not.

What's going on here? Is sexuality the ticket to being loved and having a relationship?

How to Avoid the Discomfort of Not Honoring Your Values
If you want dating to be about sex, then that's your choice. But if you do not, you don't have to listen to, say or do anything that is not a true expression of your values and personality. You do not have to be uncomfortable or embarrassed or give up on what's important to you in order to find love.

The people who want to connect sexually with you before establishing a relationship are either just looking to have fun or don't know how to create a long-lasting relationship. In either case, they are unlikely to give you the love you want and deserve.

Since you are unlikely to get from them what you want anyway, feel free to let them know just where you stand on sexual talk and sex before the relationship.

If they seem to understand you and act more appropriately after you express your feelings, explore the relationship. If they ridicule you, blame you, try to shame you or somehow imply that you have a problem, don't believe them.

By being true to yourself, you will attract a genuine, loving relationship, while they will always be on the hunt for a mate, perpetually unsatisfied.

Master Certified Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries coaches singles to attract and build loving, fulfilling, long-term relationships. For more information about Coach Rinatta Paries and the myriad of services she has created for singles, visit her Web site, WhatItTakes.com.