They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but that’s so not true. Old dogs learn new tricks all the time – that is, when they have the incentive. A tempting treat, preferably one laced with bacon, usually works. At the end of the day, human beings aren’t so different.
Before you actively embark on an aggressive flirting routine, consider this. You’re not too old to flirt if you’ve still got a sense of humor. You’re not too old to flirt if you’ve still got eyes for single guys. You’re not too old to flirt if you put on lipstick before you leave the house, or care the least bit how you dress. The question is not about are you too old to flirt. The question is, how interested you are in dating and seeing yourself involved again in a romantic relationship.
The incentive for flirting is desire, desire being a necessary component for any romantically inclined relationship. Of course you can have a friendly, flirtatious relationship with someone you actually have no interest in going out with. That person may take on the role in your life as close buddy or wingman. That’s actually the person you should hone your flirting skills on, because that’s the person you’re the most comfortable with, but have no sexual desire or interest in. Sounds complicated? Sometimes this relationship is.
The difference between serious flirting and what I call “flirting lite” is intention. Are you flirting for fun, to help pass the time of day, make some daily exchange you have with someone a little more interesting beyond, “I’ll take a regular coffee, no sugar, please?” Or are you flirting because you’re in the preliminary stages of something that could blossom into a romantic relationship? Remember that flirting, while it can be an end in itself, is principally a tool, a means to get somewhere. The amazing thing about flirting is that you can use it as a tool to get to know someone better, and, not coincidentally, discover new things about yourself.
Flirting, in some circles, can be viewed as something not so nice. For some people, just the word “flirt” connotes something overtly sexual. But it can also be a way to be conversationally engaged in manner that’s light-hearted.
Often it’s not what you say as much as how you say it. Is your regular speaking voice naturally flirtatious and upbeat? This is something you can work on if not. Try sliding a smidgen of double entendre into your dialogue (that’s French for ‘double meaning’), a tiny hint of teasing. Being coy has gotten a bad rap as making a pretense of shyness or modesty that mostly just irritates people. But the part of being coy that is reluctant to give details is exciting, even intriguing.
Who you flirt with is just as important as flirting itself. There are definitely people you should not be flirting with. Check this website for an article http://www.thirdage.com/dating/the-crush-you-shouldnt-haveon when flirting is inappropriate.
When flirting, try to give as good as you get. There will be situations where you may realize “Hey, he’s flirting with me!” All that’s required of you is to flirt a little back. Use these experiences to build up your confidence.
Remember, practice makes perfect. Don’t expect to be the best flirt ever if you haven’t flirted in years. Start small and inconsequential. Flirt with someone you’ll never see again. Flirt with people you’ve just met on line. Practice flirtatious brief emails and texting.
Remember that the best flirting often comes out of brevity. Again, it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Even a simple “Hi” is a great place to start.
Eve Marx is the author of eight sex books. Her titles include "Whats Your Sexual IQ?," "Flirtspeak: The Sexy Language of Flirtation," "The Goddess Orgasm," and "101 Things You Didnt Know About Sex."
What;s your best flirting move?
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