I'm a grown woman, and I want to run away from my family!**?
My husband and son are two of the most neediest people I have ever been in the company of. Regardless of his upbringing, my son (who is 21) moved back home, is lazy in every way this word could describe a personality. He has no gusto about anything! It is so exhausting to be around him, because he is more in my way, than he is of a contributor to the household. He tried living w/friends as roommates, and that only lasted one month - he was right back home... he is a college student, and works p/t, but I had to initiate everything for him to even do just that... and I still have to hold his hand, as if he were in the 3rd grade... He is always getting tickets he can't pay for, and breaking something on his car, with no money to fix it... so the financial burden ends up on me, since he HAS to get to school everyday. My husband on the other hand makes a mess around the house to no end, and makes poor financial decisions. Talking is not an option with him, because he is a boneheaded neadrathal, LOL... honestly! I'm sick of them both, and I miss my daughter, but she wants nothing to do with any of us anymore now that she's been away for almost 2 years at school. They are always doing something stupid, and I'm always trying to get some rationalization in their heads, by fussing at one of them at any given time, so my daughter is staying away from all of us at this point. I just found out that she does not even want to come home for spring break next week. It did not used to be this way... we did everything together with our kids when they were growing up. I do not know what happened.Needless to say, I stay stressed out now... and financially strapped for cash. Did I mention my husband is diabetic, and does not take care of himself, as she should (like Dr's visit's/healthy diet, and limited alcohol intake). He looks horribly unattractive only because he's neglecting his health issues - oh, and he's been smoking like crazy since he lost his white collar job, and is now working in the blue collar industry. I just want to run so far away, I could scream!!!! I do try to get away from them (when I have a few extra dollars), and do things for myself, like pedicures, and take in a movie, hang out w/friends... but all of that serenity just flies right out of the window and soon as i get back home to the dysfunction and chaos. As juvenile as it sounds - I really just want to run away from home!
Posted 3 years ago in Other by HotKing
Maybe it is time to take a more real break from this. Maybe getting your own apartment for a while. Neither of these men in your life are taking responsibility for their own lives and you are unable to let that happen. That isn't their fault. Let them be unhealthy, let them walk to school, let them go without picking up the mess. You can not get mad at them for your doing these things for them. You CAN be upset that they are lazy, do not care for themselves or take care of their own needs as adults. But just not that YOU are doing them. That is why i say, maybe you should move out for a while and if they do not set themselves straight, maybe you just want to stay away. Good Luck.
It certainly sounds like you are stressed to the max.....and need a break from it all...Can you get away somewhere? Ask one of your friends to share a hotel room with you....spend the day shopping, going for lunch.(it doesn't have to be costly)...or you could just swim in the hotel pool ....Or spend the weekend at one of your girlfriend's homes and go out one night....I think you just need a breather to gather your thoughts.....and see where you want to go from there....You have adults in your home....no small children....take this break for yourself and let them fend for themselves without you.....Good luck hon....I know life can be hectic....but the men in your life are wearing on you....take advantage of a weekend alone without them and see how you are feeling after that....(((((((HUGS)))))...Linda
I agree... Myabe an interstate or overseas holiday away, where they can't contact you - go away for enough time for them to realise what you do for them and how much they need you. I had the same problem with my partner, we had been living together for 5 years and it was quite similar - I moved out back to my parents for 3 months and by the end of it he was begging me to come back (we hadn't broken up) and now he cleans up after himself and me, he cooks (Never seen him cook in my life before then) it was a massive turn around. He said to me "I didn't realise how much you did until you were gone" Good luck hun :)
I can understand part of your situation why should you have to keep up your son when he will not make an honest effort himself? Why should you have to pay his tickets ? The fines are suppose to teach the ones getting the tickets to straighten up. If you keep paying them for Him he will never learn? Why would God Himself want you paying his tickets for him? He will never grow up like this. You need to tell him NO MORE from now own you pay your own tickets !! buy his own parts. How many more years do you want this to go on??? How many more years do you think God wants this to go on??? He is only using you!! You have a choice keep putting up with it or put your foot down and keep it down!!! I promise it will probably not be pleasant but you are living a defeated life in your own house.Why does god want you living a life of slavery to these so they can sit on their buts and do nothing??? Why would god want you cleaning up after them all the time? Are they not able to clean up after them self? Sounds like you have become a slave and them the masters Why should you Be keeping them up when they are taking no responsibility?? Don't get me wrong i believe we should be good to our kids and husband and wife's. But why would God want us becoming slaves to them??This is a choice evidently you allowed to happen little by little. Without even realizing it. Start taking it back little by little with each one. Yes if will be a battle. Or you can keep on living the way you are,Or you can leave. what do you think God wants in this situation? Why do you think God wants you paying for every thing?Does God not want us being fair with our companions? Do you think God is pleased when one companion uses the other???
I am not in your boat, but my mother was. You need some king of counceling, someone you can trust and open up to. If you are a member of a church or were, maybe you can seek support through a service through the church. My mom just buried everything andit seriously affected her healthon the lighter side, my question http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AnOyD454ef5MWrP.p8qhhUoH53NG;_ylv=3?qid=20110308213357AAp4wbJ
Wow, I really feel for you :(It sounds like your daughter probably doesnt know just how hard things are...but at least you know you obviously were a good parent since she turned out well! I just turned 21, but one thing I noticed is that the majority of my peers are very immature and many have the stereotypical party-mentality. I am not saying this applies to your son, but what I guess I am saying is that he is being a typical college boy. I think that is healthy. I work, go to school, and took on so much responsibility with business clubs I was running etc...it took an ultimate toll on my health this past month. I have been hospitalized twice, caught very sick and also got two ear infections and a bacterial stomach infection. I then had an allergic reaction/hives which got so bad I had to call the ER. As for your husband, it sounds like maybe he is a bit depressed...I know diabetes can take a toll on someone. Maybe find ways to make him feel attractive and correlate that with him taking car of his health. Because of his illness, I think although it may seem hard...try and find a way to show you are worried about his health, you love him, and want him to get better. Try not to be depressing, but make him feel sexy. Maybe a sexual reward or a nice meal if he gets on track.I really do feel for you. I had a nervous break down today from a load of stuff I have been through (not including the health issues I listed from this month/end of Feb). I think you are doing well by trying to treat yourself to some relaxation, but the most important thing would be to probably speak to a counselor about your issues so you have someone to bounce ideas off of and who can help you make decisions to fix this situation you are in.I hope things get better for you and best of luck!!!
I totally understand how you feel,I am in a similar situation.So this is what i have decided1 i will not pay anyone Else's bills but my own2 It's your mess clean it up,i will nag you until you do 3 i will only speak to you if you talk to me with respect4 your medical problems are not my problem5 From now on i put myself FirstThese are grown men,they can look after themselves.Your other option is to leave,yes you might lose out financially,but living a happy ,quite contented life is worth it.
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