Expert Advice: Should I Get Back Together with My Ex?

Dear Dr. Betty:

I was married for 28 years before we separated. I have two grown children and have been seeing another man for about one year. I can't say I'm in love with him, but we spend a lot of time together and he fills my loneliness. I see my husband every week and we still love each other. He lives with another woman, but is depressed. We've talked about getting back together, but I'm uneasy about it. I don't want to hurt the man I'm with because he treats me like a queen, but there's still something missing. I need guidance, but no one wants to listen to my problems. What should I do? --L.

Dear L.,

Decisions, decisions, decisions. Life does give us choices -- and sometimes that makes things more difficult.

Let's start at the end. It would be worth your while to look at why "no one wants to listen to my problems." Maybe you're engaging in "yes, buts." A friend may say that your man friend is very nice and you may reply, "Yes, but I don't really love him." Another may suggest that you try getting back together with your ex as you still love him and you may reply, "Yes, I love him, but he's not well, he gets depressed, etc."

There's no winning with a "yes but-er." It frustrates those around you -- and it takes its toll on you, too.