Remember when you were a little kid and you were forced to write thank-you notes for each and every gift? As it turns out, that simple act of gratitude is actually the thread holding together the fabric of our civilization.
Simply speaking, the simple words "Thank you" for any bit of kindness keep the wheels turning in relationships all over the world.
"Expressing appreciation conveys that (this person) matters, and they're not being taken for granted," said Cynthia Legin-Bucell, chair of the psychology department at Edinboro University of Pennsylvania.
Some people think thanking others is out of fashion -- and, on the surface, it might be.
"It's part of the 24/7 world where everything is available all the time," she said. "Nothing is special anymore. There's this impersonality that exists."
But David Barker, director of sociology at Gannon University, said he doesn't think gratitude is crumbling. "There's a quiet anxiety that people don't want to see that slip away," he said. "They do make an effort to do that kind of thing."
The expression of gratitude is part of how humans learned to treat each other and care for each other, Barker said. He said it's as basic to socialization as bartering and division of labor.
"It's the basis for societal cooperation," he said. That hasn't changed. "Gratitude ties us into who we are as human beings," Legin-Bucell said. "It's part of relationship building." If the custom of sincere thanks wanes, relationships suffer, Barker said. "In time, the lack of expressed gratitude deteriorates the relationship and begins to make it more shallow," Barker said. "Then it's in strictly exchange terms, the what-have-you-done-for-me-lately thinking." There are as many ways to thank others as there are people on Earth. Words, cards and thoughtful acts outweigh the price of any gift. The key to delightful thank-you gestures is that they're unexpected, creative and relevant to the other person's life. An inspired thank-you can be as simple as a few words or as impressive as a big favor. "Gratitude tells us that we are valued," Legin-Bucell said. "Gestures of appreciation show us that we're not being taken for granted."
