What’s really great is to see the amazing pros back, with their crisp attacks and flawless footwork. But the celebrity talent is going to be lots of fun this season.
The Women
Chyna Phillips of Wilson Phillips, paired with Tony Dovolani may be this season’s Jennifer Grey, although she did accidentally kick Dovolani in the crotch during rehearsal. Her Viennese Waltz was so graceful that grouchy Len said it was close to the best first dance he’d ever seen. She will go far. Score 22
Best line: Bruno – “It looked like you were stepping out of a dream.”
Olympic gold medalist Hope Solo, paired with Maksim Chmerkovskiy, will have to tone down her tendency to muscle her way through things. But she was praised for her musicality, attack, body contact, hold, posture, and rotation in the Viennese Waltz. Does it get better than that? Score 21
Best line: None really, which means even though she’s good, she may not make a lasting impression.
Rikki Lake, paired with the inimitable and winning (3 times) Derek Hough, is here to get her “slammin’ body back.” She danced the Viennese Waltz beautifully and is definitely a keeper. Score 20
Best line: Carrie Ann – “You looked like a real princess and Derek was your prince; it was as if you were one person flowing into each other.”
The Hills, Kristin Cavalarri, paired with Mark Ballas, would like to put her recent broken engagement out of her mind. That should be easy with Mark pushing her to her limit. She had the hip swinging, hair whipping, chest popping thing going on for her Cha Cha. She won’t last unless her personality comes out. Score 19
Best line: Bruno – “You know I love a bad girl with hot hips that can give hot action.”
Fearless prosecutor Nancy Grace, paired with the Tristan MacManus of the hot Irish accent, may be this season’s Kirstie Alley. Why? Because she is noticeably overweight, but determined to give it her all. Adorably joyous in her Cha, Cha debut, Nancy may not be able to argue her case if she doesn’t raise her game. Score: 16
Best line: Bruno—“I had no idea you were so lavishly gifted” (using his hands to indicate her ample bosom).
Model Elisabetta Canalis, best known for being George Clooney’s ex-girlfriend, is paired with Val Chmerkovskiy, whose rivalry with his popular brother Maks is being touted as a contest to watch. Although she probably has the best body of anyone, the criticism was that she was not confident unless she was in a man’s arms. Not likely to be in the finals. Score: 15
Best line: Bruno – (after Len had dissed the bed as a prop) “I liked the bed; you are very good in bed and very good when handled by a man.”
The Men
J.R Martinez, the soldier who survived a bomb blast in Iraq that burned 55 percent of his body who went on to become an actor on All My Children, is already a sentimental favorite. Paired with the gorgeous Karina Smirnoff for the waltz, he is a real life hero; despite 33 surgeries, his performance was the best of the men’s dancing. He brought genuine emotional quality to the dance and connected with the audience. Score: 22
Best line: None needed.
Eight months sober, David Arquette, paired with two-time winner Kim Johnson, has never looked better in a satin tuxedo. Even though he made a glaring mistake, he recovered and his waltz improved as he relaxed. Reminiscent of someone from The Great Gatsby. The judges loved him; he has a good chance. Score: 18
Best line: David – “Dancing is like having an amusement park in your heart.”
Carson Kressley, famous for Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and paired with redhead Anna Trebunskaya, may be even more of a novelty than Chaz Bono. He certainly has plenty of personality, which may take him far. His Mick Jagger impression during his Cha Cha was hilarious. Score: 17
Best lines: Carrie Ann – “I can’t get over all the sparkle that is happening.” Len – “It had elements of Jagger, swagger, and stagger.” Bruno – “You are redefining ‘camp’ as an art form.”
Rob Kardashian, paired with Cheryl Burke, was cheered on in his Viennese Waltz by sisters Kim and Kloe, as well as bro-in-law Lamar Odom. If he wants to step out of the shadow of his famous sisters, he better last beyond the 3rd week, which was when Kim left DWTS. Nervous, but dapper. Score: 16
Best line: Len – “I’m not impressed; but I’m not depressed.”
The NBA’s Ron Artest (or newly named Metta World Peace), paired with newbie Peta Murgatroyd, has a great motive for DWTS: he’s doing it for his daughter, Diamond, who went through chemo and survived cancer at age 4. But he’s not very good, at least at the Cha Cha, and won’t last. Score: 14
Best line: Len – “All sizzle and no sausage.”
The pressure on Chaz Bono as the controversial first transgender contestant is enormous. Nicely paired with playful Lacey Schwimmer, he showed that he could dance the Cha Cha even if he has a great big belly to contend with. Bonus if Chaz stays on: maybe Cher will show up in one of her outrageous costumes. Score: 17
Best line: Carrie Ann – “People have been waiting all night to see you and you did not disappoint.”
Judy Kirkwood can barely make it through the back row of a Zumba class.
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