The family meal seems like a quaint black-and-white relic of American life.
Prime-time television dinner tables in the 1950s and '60s all had a familiar feel. Mothers adorned in aprons, pearls and high heels presented huge pot roasts. Fathers wore ties. The children were all bright-eyed and well-scrubbed.
The conversation was sanitized, but there were a lot of life lessons dispensed over mashed potatoes and peas. The youngsters were always treated with respect and patience and were clearly cared for. You can still catch Leave It to Beaver mom June Cleaver obsessing over Beaver's well-being on the cable channel TV Land.
Conventional wisdom considers the family-meal ritual as spent as a sink full of dirty dishes. But the family meals have had a bit of a resurgence. Between 1998 and 2005, the number of teenagers participating in a family meal at least five times a week increased from 47 percent to 58 percent.
The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University has done an annual survey on family meals for more than a decade. Not coincidentally, TV Land and sister channel Nick at Nite sponsored the CASA survey in 2005 and created an initiative called Family Table: Share More than Meals. Actress Jamie Lee Curtis starred in commercials to emphasize the benefits of consistent family dining and tried to get 10 million American families to pledge to have dinner together on a designated day.
If you grew up doing this, you tend to see the value of it and want to extend the tradition. About 77 percent of parents who were surveyed said they grew up having family meals five or more nights a week, and 62 percent say they do so now with their children. CASA's research shows that teenagers who live in households with these four characteristics have only half the risk of substance abuse: frequent family meals; low levels of family tension; parents who are proud of their teens; and at least one parent in which they can confide. But a substantial body of research indicates that family meals serve as a vaccine against a host of negative outcomes that can affect a child's health and well-being. Children are more likely to eat breakfast, consume more fruit, vegetables and dairy products, and perform better in school. They are less likely to smoke or drink, experiment with drugs, be overweight, be depressed or suicidal, have erratic eating habits, eat fried food or drink soda, and have sex at a young age. Interestingly, researchers find that girls seem to benefit more from the meals than boys. They speculate that they may be more attuned to the ritual's subtle emotional support. What is not clear is the cause-and-effect of eating together and these less-troubled children. Perhaps households that make family meals a priority are headed by parents less likely to leave children unsupervised. Breaking bread together may be a proxy for many other good parenting habits and greater family connectedness. Regardless, the practice provides a consistent, healthy routine in children's lives and offers ample opportunities to teach manners, good nutrition and communication skills.
Unfortunately, too many parents have convinced themselves that sullen teenagers would prefer to be with peers or parked in front of a television or computer screen. They are wrong. About 75 percent of adolescents say they enjoy family meals, with two-thirds saying they would be willing to give up a planned weeknight activity to do so. Older adolescents, burdened with employment and school obligations, are less likely to be at the table. Only about 36 percent of those ages 15 to 17 eat with their families frequently, compared to 56 percent of children ages 6 to 11. Two unwelcome dinner guests can undo the benefits: the television and take-home fast food. A blaring, distracting TV program brings conversation to a halt. And food not prepared in the kitchen is more likely to be calorie-dense and less nutritious. This happens in homes more often where family meals happen only occasionally. But frequent family meals during adolescence translate into better lifelong eating habits. Although young adults' eating habits notoriously deteriorate when they leave home, those who ate with their families regularly have superior meal patterns and quality dietary habits. It is not easy to call the tribe together every night and have a proper meal prepared. But it may be the most foolproof parenting practice there is.
