When Your Other Half Dies |
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He was my North, my South, my East and West
My working week and my Sunday rest
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song:
I thought love would last forever; I was wrong.
-- W.H. Auden
Anyone who has lost a partner, spouse, or lover will recognize the truth of these words, written when the culture of living still welcomed open and unabashed grieving.
"Today, you have people that have been married 30 years or more," says grief counselor Marianne Kelly, "and within two weeks people may be asking why they haven't cleaned out the closets. Friends and family alternate between saying 'How are you?' and 'Get on with it.'"
Kelly, who is executive director of the Center for Living with Dying in San Jose, California, says the loss of a partner may be "extremely painful" for older adults when they're still raising children, preparing for children to leave home, or caring for their own aging parents. "All of this at a time when you just want to hide out," she adds.
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