Secrets for Marital Excitement |
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Our sexual chemistry is less powerful.
Don't worry--just as there are scientific reasons behind diminished "love chemistry," there are successful strategies for improving it as well. Research confirms that neurotransmitters such as serotonin, dopamine, and phenylethylamine influence our moods and sexual response when we feel sexual attraction and fall in love. Relative levels of these neurotransmitters appear to influence how and when we become habituated to the pleasures of each other's company once we're in love, says Kathleen Brehony, Ph.D., author of Awakening at Midlife and Ordinary Grace.
Doing something new and meaningful together can recharge your chemical attraction. Celebrate holidays by yourselves, suggests Brehony, or volunteer to work side-by-side in a soup kitchen. Making life more adventurous invariably helps fan the flames of sexual chemistry. Take on some joint projects, such as re-decorating your bedroom in a romantic style, planting favorite flowers, or adopting a puppy. Remember: taking on new roles and risks helps revive feelings of novelty and excitement you enjoyed in the early years of your relationship. The larger the risk, the greater the excitement. But take risks within healthy limits. You want to feel excited, not stressed!
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I love my spouse, but I'm no longer "in love."
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