Secrets for Marital Excitement |
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I miss the romance we once knew.
"Romantic love has become the religion of Western culture," says Kathleen Brehony, Ph.D., author of Awakening at Midlife and Ordinary Grace. Concepts of romantic love originated in royal courts of the Middle Ages. The myth of romantic love holds that our chosen lover is god-like, an embodiment of perfection. This myth often fades after years of marriage.
What's more, says Brehony, the expectation of perfection in a mate is a reflection of our own longing for completion of the soul. At midlife, she says, our task is to accept our mates as only human, and to seek to understand how and why we may have ascribed god-like characteristics to them in the first place.
Going through this process will help you accept and understand yourself and your mate much better. It will also help you define what you want from your marriage and give you some positive goals.
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I love my spouse, but I'm no longer "in love."
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