How To Get Rid Of Envy

Six Ways To Conquer Envy

Posted by Robin Westen on March 19, 2012 7:45 AM

We all experience envy every now and then. And it’s not always a bad emotion, since it can challenge us to do our best. But if envy is overwhelming, psychologists say it can lead to depression, resentment, anger, low self-esteem, frustration and stress. Envy also prevents us from enjoying what we do have. So what should you do if envy is getting the best of you? Try to:

NAME IT. Realizing that the emotion you're feeling is envy is the first step toward overcoming it. Accept the fact that it's completely normal and don't beat yourself up over it. It's how you choose to react to your emotions that will determine whether or not that emotion will create opportunities for you, or cause problems.

KNOW YOU’RE NOT ALONE. Realize the person you’re envying is probably envying someone or something else. That’s just life. Whether it's having children who call every day, a better garden, fabulous vacations, more money in the bank, or a communicative spouse, someone will always seem to have it just a little bit better than you.

CHANGE YOUR BRAIN. Instead of dwelling on the negative, consciously alter your thoughts by reading a book, watching a movie, getting together with friends (and NOT talking about the reason you’re envious), cooking, or dancing. The trick is to absorb yourself in what you’re doing in the moment.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS. Ask yourself what you have that other people may not. It could be your good health, close family, lovely home, a loving spouse or a loyal group of friends. So many folks these days can’t even afford to manage three squares a day. Remind yourself of this fact and let the gratitude flow for all you do have. FLIP IT AROUND. Let’s say you’re envious of a movie star’s lifestyle. Allow yourself to see all the joy and pleasure they’ve brought to others by entertaining them. By turning your envious feelings into happy ones, you'll feel better about yourself and in the process help others around you also feel better. Happiness, after all, is contagious. LET IT OUT. Most of us are pretty good at keeping our negative thoughts in, and then they build up and get more toxic. Instead, picture your envy. Give it an image, add color and weight, and then let it drift away. Robin Westen is ThirdAge’s medical reporter. Check for her daily updates. Her newest book, co-authored with Dr. Alyssa Dweck, is “V Is For Vagina.”